ANNOUNCING THE GRAND OPENING OF "INNOVATIVE FLY STUFF ." HURRY!!
Flyfishing Stories by Bob Lawless

As most of you know, my dearest and only friends, I have written a number of articles revealing the secrets and amazing adventures of my life at no cost to you. But there is no free lunch as you also know, and now it is the time for a little repayment.
All you have to do is to study the following innovative fly and fly fishing merchandise listed below. Place your order for whatever you wish. There is no pressure. But it would take a filthy scumbag to have read all my yucks and then bum me out with like no order.
Are you still there? So be generous with me and yourself and your buddies and your loved ones (remember Santa is on his way), write out a big order TODAY!!

Item no. 125A6. BOB'S FAMOUS PORTABLE CABIN. Would you like your own portable cabin to set up on some gravel spit adjacent to your favorite hole? (I am talking fishing hole here, DAMN IT). This portable cabin is made of a very light weight , water resistant , tough material similar to cardboard. But wait! You will have photographed pictures of lodgepole pine, windows and doors, chimney with smoke embossed in a realistic fashion right into your cabin walls..
You can sit in the door of your cabin as the evening drops over the sea, and gaze out upon the beauty of the water and maybe notice a rise or two. You cast and enjoy the fight from the comfort of your living room. Does it get any better than this? Or, after you erect the cabin ( average time about one min. and thirty seconds) , you break out your guitar and strum out, "Red River Valley."
If you have friends out on the bar and they have their own BOB'S FAMOUS PORTABLE CABIN, you can assemble a small village and have a giant PARTY!! WHAT FUN!!!!!
Cabin comes in five easy to assemble pieces, no furniture is included. Fireplace, toilet, shower and kitchen appliances are optional.
Priced at only $1,999.99 Less than two grand! Limit five per customer, twenty per household. Please be fair; stock limited.!
Guitar and words to "Red River Valley" not included.

Item no 54545A2-C BOB'S FAMOUS TIPPET EXCHANGER AND INDICATOR. Made by skilled Irish craftsmen using only the finest materials, this device works as follows: You attach the exchanger to the end of your leader using the all brass ring provided at no charge. Inside the spring loaded exchanger, you will notice that there are five neatly coiled spools of tippet material, 7X. 5X, 3X, 6# and 10 # . Perfect for your every need! Select the desired strength, pull off the required amount from the Exchanger, attach fly and viola, you are good to go. The Exchanger floats! It becomes your indicator! Amaze your friends. Impress the girls.
Only $39.99! Under 40 bucks! Can you believe it?

Item no. 22-22-223AL BOB'S FAMOUS FOLLOW THE LINE ROD HANDLE. This idea is a beaut! What happens when you buy this valuable item is that each time the direction of power changes in your cast or when fighting a fish, your rod handle automatically adjusts to the change. So during your backcast, for example, an ordinary rod will have the guides facing in the wrong direction causing distance stealing friction. But with our product, the guides rotate to the rear on the backcast because the entire rod is rotated to the rear. On the forward cast, the rod returns to its previous position. WOW! If a fish runs to your right, the rod rotates to the right--less friction, more fish brought to the net. Simply cut off your fly rod near the handle. Insert the stub into your new handle and you are ready to fish! No more lost fish. Gain enough distance to establish yourself as "Mr. It" on the river and watch the crowds follow your every move. They won't know it is because of BOB'S FAMOUS FOLLOW THE LINE ROD HANDLE. AND DON'T TELL THEM! Only $109.09.

Item # 666-666. BOB'S FAMOUS BANDOLIER FLY HOLDER AND GUN BELT. We know you"have been waiting for something like this; so here it is. We now offer recycled Mexican Army bandoleers which hold 300 bullets or plastic vials instead.
The vials (not furnished) are perfect for storing flies, hooks, split shot, beads, you name it! You simply load one of these babies up and toss it over your shoulder.
Buy two in order to form an " X" Now you will have over 600 containers to store your every wish. End fly buildup. This is the answer.
Earn respect on the river when you show up draped in bandoleers. Live ammunition not furnished. Limit 16 per customer.
NOW UNTIL CHRISTMAS Only $19.99 each. No refunds.

Item no.1937-4-10 Get a pair of BOB'S FAMOUS UV RESISTANT TROUT GLASSES. These are not for the fisherman but for the trout! Have you ever had the problem of trying to release a fish and he just won't hold still? Of course, you have. But get these glasses and your troubles are over. Simply bring the fish to hand. Now slip the glasses onto the trout's nose. Notice that he calms down immediately. That's because he is UV light sensitive! Trout hate that. Give em' a break. Get at least two pairs.
$1.49 per two each. May be slightly worn or scratched.

Item no. 12ddf Old Polish World War II survival kits. Battle proven, these kits contain a hook and line, matches, a candy bar, toilet paper, etc. Things you need for survival when fishing. Put one or two in your vest and forget about it . Come crunch time, you are ready. Great gift for Dad or Mom. $9.99

Item no. 1812 Broken rod pieces from famous rod makers. Can't mention the name but these are from the top rod makers in the country, indeed the world! Think of it! You are walking back to your truck and you see this guy coming toward you on the same path. Quickly you jettison your cheap outfit into the brush. Now you pull out your famous name broken rod pieces and show them to the guy. "Yeah" you say,"he was a biggun." The dude notices the label on your rod stub and asks you if he can just touch it for a few seconds. Get the picture. Pick up enough to get some for your fishing buddies. Only $1.88 each piece under twelve inches.
$2.05 for PCs.over 12. " Not for rod building or for serious fishing. No two parts match.

Item 16A. BOB'S FAMOUS WALLET SIZE TRAVEL ROD. This 16pcs. 4wt. fly rod will, yes, fit inside your wallet! Great for traveling light. Why get caught without a rod? Be sure. Great for the kids. $4.99 each. $59.00 per dozen. Load up now!

I'm getting tired of this so I'm out of here.
But look for more bargains from time to time. BOBLAWLESS