Update on Smolt's Bowels, Oleander's Health

My dog, my poor Smolt, seems to get worse by the hour, his bowels rage unabated and he refuses to eat so I took him to the vet for some help. Well, the vet thinks it is his nerves and asked me if Smolt was doing anything that might make a dog get nervous or stressed in any way. I could not think of anything...the dog did lead the life of a fishing dog, but what was stressful about that? True, he got wet once in awhile but he has always been dried off thoroughly, given a small sip of a good whiskey (James Beam), and allowed to sleep whenever he wanted to do so in my fishing vest. His only job is to lick the tears from my cheeks when I cry, and, while that is quite often when I go fishing, it should not be that stressful. The vet said that dogs were good at licking and that it must be something else. I allowed as how I did not catch much and maybe that bugged the dog.
The vet says that that has been a big problem this fall what with the low water and all and that Smolt's condition should improve once the rains begin.
He gave me a rather large syringe to inject Immodium into Smolt's rectum and I have to do this every four hours every day. So if you see a guy wading along in some river with a syringe up a dog's butt, well, that's me.
Oleander, my famous parrot, is doing ok but he continues to whizz away all the time. I have put a rather large bucket of water in his cage so he can keep up with the outflow. I have hooked up a 1/4" tube to the bottom of the cage and then I have exited the other end out the window and from there it drops to the street. I hope no one takes offence at this.
I have been forced to put zip lock bags on the bottom of each animal and when they get full, I just stick them in the back of my vest and empty them at a rest stop. This works well but draws stares from onlookers. I always say, "What? What?" And then they hurry on, avoiding my eyes. What am I? Some sort of leper or something? OK, I don't catch much, but does this make me a bad person? I don't think so.
Both of your vest pets sound like they're beginning to be more trouble than they're worth. But that's just me -- I don't love them like you do. I do have a question though. As far as Smolt is concerned, he may be worth the effort, because he licks your tears away. But it sounds like Oleandor is just out there whizzin' & cussin'. What does he do to justify taking up valuable pocket space? Maybe you should consider a third firearm instead?


"If I don't catch them today, I'll catch them another day." Art Flick
If you hear a dog yelpin...."Hey, That's not a syring!!!"

sorry Bob, couldn't resist.

I think Oleander and Smolt are not fretting over the attention, I think they are lovesick?

I think you need another vest pocket parrot and dog to "keep them company" on those long fishin excursions...