Let me just say that there's plenty of good stuff in there:
over a thousand flies,leaders,tippets, various bottles of stuff, including whiskey, anti-bug, anti-sun, anti-sink, anti-float, anti-histamines, anti-this and anti-that. Tools: knives, hemostats, clippers,scissors,lights,.380 auto job, pliers, a small saw, a hatchet, and another back-up gun. For safety, I have an automatic and manuel inflation device, a rocket pistol and about a dozen flares, the guns, bandaids, matches, asprins, my medications, and various other linaments, lotions, and balms.
But I won't bore you further with such common and ordinary gear. It's the non-trational stuff that I carry that is of interest here.
I carry a live parrot in my upper left had pocket. He is not allowed on the right hand side where my rod is because one time he snipped my line in a New York second when I had a huge fish on one moment and he was gone the next. He asked for a cracker. No cracker! Bad bird!
He's a lot of fun when I'm standing alone in the pouring rain out in the middle of the river with not a chance in hell to catch anything.
I'm frozen,depressed, frightened, hungry, thirsty, sick, roaring headache, exhausted and I'm giving some thought to calling it a day, particulary because it is getting dark anyway.
That's when my buddy, "Oleander," comes in handy. All he can say are filthy, obscene, sinful words. That way I don't have to waste needed energy using these vile expressions myself. You might consider buying a parrot (EBay) if you think you need added help when having so much fun. I also carry a small dog,"Smolt" who works well licking the tears from my cheeks when the going gets tough; he can stay in the pocket on right upper side because he has threaten my line only once and I had no fish on.
Sometimes I carry so much gear(a small, battery operated, color t.v. travel brochures, etc.)that I can't fish. So I just sit on the bank, using my parrot and dog to help me get by. I've thought about getting rid of either the scissors or the nippers and maybe carry only one gun. But naw, you just never know.


Active Member
You are flipin killing me. Stop! too damn funny(again)
p.s. are you a writer or what. I work for a publishing Co. Just wondering....YT

Tim Cottage

Formerly tbc1415
Hilarious! This took me by surprise, The title made me expect something else.
Thanks for writing and posting this.

PS: I usually carry most of the same stuff except for the dog and the guns.
You should teach that parrot to spot fish for you a well trained bird can be a great "live" fish finder that way you can free up another pocket for some more whiskey or even another back up pistol.
You know, the funny thing is, I have known someone who did carry a bird on the river. His name was Mickey. No more bird.

I also knew someone who carried a .357 with a spare clip fully loaded. Talk about sceary.



Active Member
you're not weird or anything. Some people just are so freaked out by firearms. Personally, I have a permit, but I never carry, ever. However, another member on this board that I often see, carries all the time. Like were at the store, he's got his gat under his shirt. I don't get it. Like he might need to shoot something at QFC. :DUNNO To each there own I guess....YT


Idaho Resident Craftsman/Artisan
[font color="green"]Whitey,

Let's talk about the Oxymoron of "Personally, I have a permit, but I never carry, ever." Looks like next time we are at QFC and some punk kid from the Ghetto Condos next door comes out and wants to slap you down for riding the "short bus" I might just have to stand by and watch. hahaha won't it be a funny day.

And just an additional little FYI YT there was a beating/murder at that very QFC a couple of months ago from the same Ghetto Punk Gangsta wannabees that I am referring to. They straight beat down some guy for looking at them wrong. Killed him...as in: dead... you know, not coming back anymore. How about the little shootout downtown that I read about in the paper this morning. Yeah random shoot out after a hip hop concert on 5th ave. Um yeah only 2 dead guys 3 people wounded and a few shot out windows 50 brass casings on the ground and a few smashed up cars. So anyway while you guys are all chillin with your mouths wide open dropping a peace sign I will be riddling some thug full of hot lead from my .40 Glock just to save your aces.



Active Member
enough. give the NRA lecture a rest. I can see it now, Macrowdy arrested at QFC for bustin a cap in somebodies ass. straight up 1-8-7 fool. I'll visit you in jail. Maybe if your nice, I'll hide a hacksaw in a cake so you can bust out and be on the lamb from the law. I hope you like Mexico, bring some sunscreen, I hear redheads burn rather easily... :KISS YT


Idaho Resident Craftsman/Artisan
As soon as I bust out of jail I will ride my banana bike up to your house and we can get away in your "short bus". It would make a great getaway van! Besides no cop would shoot at a short bus.



...has several mistresses.
Guns, Chicks, Firetrucks and birds! WOW! I love flyfishing! Oh, there was nothing said about chicks huh! Ever walked back from a day of fishing to find your car door open, all of your contents spilled out over the road, stereo gone, gps gone as well as pretty much anything of value? THAT is the reason I carry a gun while fishing, aside from the chance that I may encounter a bear, at that point, shoot the nearest person to you in the thigh and run like hell! I love the bird idea! Falcon Fishing sort of! What a cool post! I love it! Perhaps a blow up doll will fit into my vest! Which rises the question, WHAT IS THE MOST ODD THING YOU CARRY IN YOUR VEST, OR ON A RIVER WITH YOU? Me? It would have to be a can of soup, no opener, no fire, no spoon even, just never know when I will lodge my leg in a log jam and have to wait for weeks to be discovered, would rather chew on a can of soup than my leg! :THUMBSUP