"Be Nice" month review & Portugese orphans update!

Discussion in 'Fly Fishing Forum' started by Mingo, Apr 1, 2007.

  1. Mingo

    Mingo the Menehune stole my beer

    FINALLY..........a nasty, long, soggy-arse March has officially come and gone...... ..the weather is warming up, people are filling flyboxes, cleaning lines, prepping their gear and dispositions are generally improving on here.

    Noteworthy March events included:

    - WFF members consumed 247,138,402 gallons of lager, pilsners, ales and stout
    - Zen caught 847 steelhead
    - Porter's cat killed 312 possums and one hapless gerbil
    - Old Man uttered 714,582 cuss words
    - Backyard fished twice a day, caught 1,537 assorted fish and tied 213,112 awesome flies
    - "Giant Pandas & Kent Lufkin" was the correct Jeopardy answer to the question "Name two mammals that need bamboo to survive"
    - Chad's boys drank 48 gallons of chocolate syrup
    - Wadin' Boot wrote nine more chapters of his upcoming book
    - Richard insulted my BIIX by calling it a "Wimpston"
    - I fished ONCE and caught exactly three small blackmouth the whole month
    - Smalma and Salmo G continued to enlighten and educate all of us
    - Alpine called someone out for being a


    and on and on and on....................

    It seems we're finally transitioning to spring. January and February were out of control and even March had noteworthy moments of acute verbal diarrhea; several people were sent to the WFF penalty box to chill and read old clippings of Miss Manners. The Big Boss reminded us all to be respectful. Someone responded to my original "Be Nice" thread with a hearty "F You, Mingo.....down with optimism".

    Yet many threads that would have turned into a giant cluster in January and February were handled with mutual respect, excellent advice and good give and take last month. The thread on ff'ing vehicles, etc................cool fun, exactly the stuff we all come here to read and enjoy. Some useful gear and tech stuff was discussed........to those posters, let's give a huge HELL YEAH!

    :beer2: :beer2: :beer2: :beer2:

    Yep, winter is finally over. But damn, January and February and some March threads turned so weird on here that some new sponsors saw an opportunity to sell products to what they saw as their core demographic......................





    Things seem to be looking up......finally. Of course, no matter the season, there will always be a few turds who insist on diving in headfirst and stinking up the whole punchbowl............................for example, the spoiled little brat who always got everything he demanded from his spineless parents and uses WFF as his tantrum release...........................


    Or the schoolyard loner who takes his juice box and runs home whenever he doesn't get his way..................


    Or the self-appointed hall monitor who tries to take over the class whenever the teacher steps out of the room...................


    We've had an interesting influx of new members from around the globe lately too..........to them, we say Vilkommen, G'day, Kampai, Kombei, Skol, Cheers and all other forms of welcoming salutations.:beer2: :beer2: :beer2:

    With the intense international focus on WFF lately, some high-profile media flyfishers were ready to join up and start posting. Unfortunately, as a direct result of the Winter Flame Wars, this infamous, self-appointed Windbaggus Pachydermius approached Chris asking for a stint as a guest mod.............................


    Then when things died down and civility returned, we attracted the attention of a famous Italian TV hostess. Maria Sophia DeLaGasparina Maserati hosts the #1 fishing show in Italy, "Zuppa De Pesce". The lass is hopelessly addicted to the flyfishing game and talks about her love of the sport non-stop. Amazing that she found WFF over there, but word is getting OUT!


    she was all set to join our ranks until another dumbass argument flamed up and she fled with her flyrod to the banks of the lovely Nera, avoiding WFF controversy while making delicate presentations to wily trout on this lovely little spring creek in the Umbria region.

    See what happens when people act like complete idiots?

    Due to the overwhelming response and reaction to the plight of those poor Portugese orphans that Zen mentored last year, I have an update to share. A few WFF members went on a mission of mercy recently to visit them in their homeland. The idea was to learn more about their situation, teach them basic flyfishing skills and donate some much-needed clothing. These poor kids virtually have nothing to wear. Once again, WFF stepped up the plate and helped those in need.

    Chris chartered a flight for us on a hi-tech luxury aircraft..........


    Zen opened the gates to the orphanage last year with his awesome diplomatic skills. He became so famous and beloved that they erected a statue of him in the Praca do Giraldo in Evora, where thongs of adoring female orphans follow him wherever he goes screaming "Bezerro Zen! Mi Amore, mi Bezerro Zen!" We all stared open-mouthed and slack jawed at the sheer size of this monument!


    This was my first trip and boy, what a gorgeous country. The Douro valley is amazing, Isla Faial is incredible with some great shots at tuna and white marlin and the Minho and Cavado rivers have some very savvy fish. I guess centuries of evading Celts, Vandals, Visigoths and hapless orphans with sharpened sticks have made them especially wary. As for the food........I hope I never eat Bacalhau again, but the pasteis de nata is awesome.


    The following photos feature poverty-stricken Portugese orphans Those of you who are offended by photos of poor orphans, STOP RIGHT HERE and return to other threads!!!!!!!

    After we delivered several boxloads of clothing and other items, the nuns who watch after the orphanage were so overcome with emotion they honored Chris with his own theme song...........hum along to the Beverly Hillbilly's theme..........it's catchy!


    Sister Jacira De Montano, the Mother Superior of the orphanage and nearby convent, was a great sport, going along on fishing expeditions, bringing buckets of ice cold cervejas and awesome lunches. She also pointed out that in the past month, several busloads of American tourists have stopped by to see the orphans. She said "I don't understand thees, but touristas from U.S. all have BEEG wads of $1 beels in their handsss when they come to see our keeds????!?!?!!"

    It was wonderful to see orphans so eager and appreciative of the gifts they received. They were so happy..........the nuns told us they downloaded the site logo and made hand-lettered posters to honor the WFF entourage.


    One thing that was odd..........several members of our entourage refused to be photographed or have their names included in this trip report. I have no idea why, because helping orphans is a wonderful thing, it is not something to be embarrassed about!

    of course, any trip with this bunch will include some hijinks. One day, Alpine, 'Yard and Steelie Mike took a few of the young, bright-eyed orphans on an overnight flyfishing/camping trip. All seemed fine until it became apparent they had developed a bit of hero worship toward the lads. We also learned that like many WFF members, Portugese orphans and Portugese people in general really enjoy documenting a landmark event in their lives with a tattoo. A crush is no big deal, but as Sister Del Toro said, "But TAH-TOOZ???? No No NO pleez NO Tah-Tooz!!!"


    little Aboboras won the "Who Can Make The Coollest Clothing using WFF donated items" contest. She used stickers, tippet, a WFF stocking cap and an old spey line. What adaptability, what imagination!!!!


    Now, regarding "Tah-Tooz", the Old Man proved he still has plenty of practical jokes left in him. He volunteered, all on his own without any provocation, to drive two of the girls into town one night to buy popcorn and soda pop for disco night at the orphanage. They were gone for several hours and the nuns were frantic...........

    When they finally returned, Old Man ran and hid while this ugly scene unfolded..............poor pitiful orphans, trusting that naughty old fart!!!!!!


    All in all, it was a wonderful trip and I'm proud to have been a small part of it.

    Chris tells us next year, another WFF group will be going to visit the poor, hapless orphans of Sweden.
  2. reverse spider

    reverse spider New Member

    bawling: these are tears of pride, I am so proud to be associated with such a caring group

    Mingo will you be my hero??
  3. Kent Lufkin

    Kent Lufkin Remember when you could remember everything?

    Geezus Mingo, you put more effort into that post than my daughter did on her graduation thesus. Things been slow at work lately?!

  4. wadin' boot

    wadin' boot Donny, you're out of your element...

    I haven't laughed like that since the "bad language ruin people's day" thread...:rofl: Out-f*&^%$-standing!
  5. salt dog

    salt dog card shark

    ...It's late...I'm at work....and the cleaning lady is wondering why I'm laughing out loud with tears running down my face. Geezus Mingo stop it already. LMAO
  6. Roger Stephens

    Roger Stephens Active Member

    Classic Mingo post and one of your best. You always seem to have good timing to lighten up the winter doldrum mood of this site!

  7. Daryle Holmstrom

    Daryle Holmstrom retiredfishak

    What he said
  8. dominic7471

    dominic7471 Member

    wow that is prolly the best post i have seen in months! keep up the good work!
  9. Lugan

    Lugan Joe Streamer

    Genius! :rofl: It's like the Colbert Report for a flyfishing forum. Mingo, please send me some of whatever you smoked before you wrote/made that. :cool:
  10. FFK

    FFK Member

    hahahah, mingo you have worked magick with your photshope; skillz

  11. Daryle Holmstrom

    Daryle Holmstrom retiredfishak

    A couple of photoshop skills the mingo has, force is strong
  12. Zen Piscator

    Zen Piscator Supporting wild steelhead, gravel to gravel.

    This is too much, but atleast we are doing it for the orphans!
  13. alpinetrout

    alpinetrout Banned or Parked

    That was like a flashback of the Fly Fishing Film Tour weekend in Portland...
  14. Those are some nice asses! damn! Nice work though.
  15. Allison

    Allison Banned or Parked

    I love Zen's new statue!

    In March, I fished two days, said 16,763 swear words, hooked four fish, got tired out by two fish, landed zero fish, and consumed 14 gallons of Captain Larry's famous Seafood Bisque in one sitting. I also bought 1.5 2007 fishing licenses, and lost 47 flies. I believe none of them were tied my me. I also asked 47 stupid questions on the forum. What a crazy coincidence.

    Bring it on!
  16. Old Man

    Old Man Just an Old Man

    Good looking thread. But how did I get into it as me being the nice sweet person that my mother said I was. I was laughing at the begining and the same at the end. Good post. :thumb: :thumb: :thumb: :thumb:

    One way to perk things up.

  17. Diehard

    Diehard aka Justin

    Pretty damn funny!
  18. Sloan Craven

    Sloan Craven Active Member

    LOL Great trip report Mingo!
  19. fredaevans

    fredaevans Active Member

    Our first (real) Candidate for "Post of the Year!"
  20. Kyle Smith

    Kyle Smith Active Member

    Man, the baby thing had me cracking up! Then I saw the 6x bikinis and forgot all about it.