NFR Greatest insult in literary history.

Discussion in 'Fly Fishing Forum' started by Rob Allen, Mar 31, 2014.

  1. “My Lord, I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offense against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fir which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornement for a human face. Is it possible that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?” -Mandorallen from the Seeress of Kell by David eddings
     
  2. I don't even recall ever meeting David Eddings. Is he an outdoorsman, lol?
     
  3. Good one. Reminds me of the greatest insult in cinematic history from Monty Python's The Holy Grail: "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"

    Clip here:
     
  4. After the insults, I think they started launching cows over the castle walls.

    Great movie.

    I kind'a like the insult: "You have the brain of a drunken tick."
     
    royalcoach, enlightened and FinLuver like this.
  5. or "you're so stupid that if your brain were gasoline you couldn't power a flea's motorcycle around the inside of a dry Cheerio."
     
  6. I've preferred:
    "You are a vexation to the spirit."
    "You're a poor excuse for a poor excuse."
    "You're a hemorrhoid on the a-hole of life."
     
    royalcoach and enlightened like this.
  7. You are a fugitive from the law of averages.
     
  8. I always like "Did your mom have any kids that lived"
     
  9. "You dirt-eating piece of slime, you scum-sucking pig, you son of a motherless goat!"

    Was always partial to this one.
     
    enlightened likes this.
  10. "She has a million dollar body and the face to protect it."
     
    Dipnet, Lugan and FinLuver like this.
  11. Gotta be careful who you sling those at. In the marine corps we had a caution about having a crocodile mouth and a humming bird ass.
     
  12. That's the very quote I've modeled my life after
     
    Mark Mercer and enlightened like this.
  13. "Don't let your mouth write a check that your body can't cash."
    or
    "That must be your ass speaking, 'cuz I'm sure your mouth knows better."
     
    enlightened likes this.
  14. Hey! That's my life style:)!
     
  15. One of my favorites:

    Robin Williams as Adrian Cronauer in the film Good Morning Vietnam to a Master Sergeant:
    You are in more dire need of a b*** job than any white man in history.
     
    royalcoach and Nooksack Mac like this.
  16. In the Navy it was "Don't let your battle ship mouth overload your row boat ass".
     
    Teenage Entomologist likes this.
  17. Reminds me of a series of great insults in real-life history between Lady Astor (the wealthy American Nancy Astor, who married Lord Astor becoming the Viscountess Astor and also Britain's first female MP) and Winston Churchill, who were notoriously at odds.

    She responded to a question from Churchill about what disguise he should wear to a masquerade ball by saying, "Why don't you come sober, Prime Minister?"

    Astor once famously told Churchill, "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea." He replied, "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"

    On another occasion, upon hearing Astor's name, Churchill sniffed, "If she's got to call herself a lady, she ain't."

    K
     
  18. You'd have to give that man a wit to make him a half-wit!
     
    Porter likes this.
  19. From my grandfather, "You're so dumb you couldn't piss a hole in the snow."
     

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