NFR Greatest insult in literary history.

Discussion in 'Fly Fishing Forum' started by Rob Allen, Mar 31, 2014.

  1. Rob Allen

    Rob Allen Active Member

    “My Lord, I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offense against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fir which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornement for a human face. Is it possible that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?” -Mandorallen from the Seeress of Kell by David eddings
     
  2. Jim Ficklin

    Jim Ficklin Genuine Montana Fossil

    I don't even recall ever meeting David Eddings. Is he an outdoorsman, lol?
     
  3. Lugan

    Lugan Joe Streamer

    Good one. Reminds me of the greatest insult in cinematic history from Monty Python's The Holy Grail: "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"

    Clip here:
     
  4. GAT

    GAT Active Member

    After the insults, I think they started launching cows over the castle walls.

    Great movie.

    I kind'a like the insult: "You have the brain of a drunken tick."
     
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  5. weiliwen

    weiliwen Active Member

    or "you're so stupid that if your brain were gasoline you couldn't power a flea's motorcycle around the inside of a dry Cheerio."
     
  6. Jim Ficklin

    Jim Ficklin Genuine Montana Fossil

    I've preferred:
    "You are a vexation to the spirit."
    "You're a poor excuse for a poor excuse."
    "You're a hemorrhoid on the a-hole of life."
     
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  7. rockthief

    rockthief Fly fishing = food for my soul

    You are a fugitive from the law of averages.
     
  8. Tacoma Red

    Tacoma Red Active Member

  9. Travis Bille

    Travis Bille Active Member

    I always like "Did your mom have any kids that lived"
     
  10. t_law

    t_law Active Member

    "You dirt-eating piece of slime, you scum-sucking pig, you son of a motherless goat!"

    Was always partial to this one.
     
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  11. Mark Walker

    Mark Walker Active Member

    "She has a million dollar body and the face to protect it."
     
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  12. Don Freeman

    Don Freeman Free Man

    Gotta be careful who you sling those at. In the marine corps we had a caution about having a crocodile mouth and a humming bird ass.
     
  13. bennysbuddy

    bennysbuddy the sultan of swing

    That's the very quote I've modeled my life after
     
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  14. Jim Ficklin

    Jim Ficklin Genuine Montana Fossil

    "Don't let your mouth write a check that your body can't cash."
    or
    "That must be your ass speaking, 'cuz I'm sure your mouth knows better."
     
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  15. enlightened

    enlightened Active Member

    Hey! That's my life style:)!
     
  16. Trapper Badovinac

    Trapper Badovinac Author, Writer, Photographer

    One of my favorites:

    Robin Williams as Adrian Cronauer in the film Good Morning Vietnam to a Master Sergeant:
    You are in more dire need of a b*** job than any white man in history.
     
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  17. Stan Wright

    Stan Wright Member

    In the Navy it was "Don't let your battle ship mouth overload your row boat ass".
     
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  18. Kent Lufkin

    Kent Lufkin Remember when you could remember everything?

    Reminds me of a series of great insults in real-life history between Lady Astor (the wealthy American Nancy Astor, who married Lord Astor becoming the Viscountess Astor and also Britain's first female MP) and Winston Churchill, who were notoriously at odds.

    She responded to a question from Churchill about what disguise he should wear to a masquerade ball by saying, "Why don't you come sober, Prime Minister?"

    Astor once famously told Churchill, "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea." He replied, "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"

    On another occasion, upon hearing Astor's name, Churchill sniffed, "If she's got to call herself a lady, she ain't."

    K
     
  19. _WW_

    _WW_ Fishes with Wolves

    You'd have to give that man a wit to make him a half-wit!
     
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  20. bozo

    bozo New Member

    From my grandfather, "You're so dumb you couldn't piss a hole in the snow."