Discussion in 'Fly Fishing Forum' started by Eric Denny, Mar 18, 2014.
Don't let drunk people row your boat on Rock Creek
Always pee before putting on your waders.
Avoid casting to the same rising fish as your two fishing buddies.
You can use Chapstick as a fly floatant.... the trout prefer the cherry flavor.
When tying flies, do not attempt to use superglue to attach quill style wings.
If your sinking line decides to tangle itself into a birds nest on your reel, it's best to toss out the line and spool and start over.
Never, ever wear your baseball cap backwards unless you want to be mistaken for a B.A.S.S. angler.
Do not use a handgun out of frustration to shoot at selective feeding trout.
If you slip and fall in while fishing a river, calmly float downstream while casting to give the impression you've come up with a new technique.
If attacked by a bear while fishing remember you don't need to outrun the bear, only your fishing buddy.
1. Adopt a strong opinion about wolves, guns, tribal netting and swinging vs nymphing.
2. Have a few strong drinks and be sure to let all those who oppose your beliefs know about how inferior their opinions are compared to yours.
3. Threaten to smack them through your computer monitor to display your internet toughness and boost your geek street cred.
4. Have a few more strong drinks and let all your friends hear about how you can't believe that someone would have opinions different from your own.
5. Pass out and not remember a thing.
Drunk posting is so much fun... til you read the shizz you posted the next morning! LOL!
dont wear a thong under your waders.....unless you are female
Don't fry bacon with your shirt off.
Don't tell the Old Man that your coming to Montana and your going to fish with him and then not show up.
Don't sweat the petty things.
Instead try to pet the sweaty things!
I've discouvered that less than 2% of the ideas I come up with while drinking are good ones
Use a stripping basket
Don't cheap out on hooks and tippet material
Keep your hook sharp at all times
And I second the "Go and make a report" and "listen more than you talk"
And from an oldtimer buddy of mine "The best time to go fishing is anytime you can"
And his other saying
On a big run the fish come early, there are lots of them and they stay late
On a small run the fish come late, there are not that many and they are gone early.
You are 2% ahead of me and most others.
One of the things I had to relearn when I started shooting seriously with a digital camera was to slow down. Digital systems are so much easier to shoot than their old film counter parts. With auto focus, auto ISO, aperture priority, shutter priority etc, and with the ability to "spray and pray" without the cost of film, I wasn't taking the time to setup and think about the shot. I was missing the fine details and not really seeing the light. Composition was sloppy. All of which contributed to my "keeper" rate being significantly lower and reducing the sense of accomplishment when I did make that one good shot. This translates to fishing also. Slow down, read the water, try to figure out where the fish might be. Look for the structure that might hold a fish. Look at the surface; is it rippled or calm, flat and easy for predators to see through? Check out the position of the sun and how it shines into the water. While slowing down and looking at your surroundings you will start to enjoy the day and the real reason you are out there. It isn't all about catching fish. Slow down, enjoy it more and perhaps catch more fish.
In between the BS there are some pretty good ideas here.
So that is my first pointer "listen a lot and sort through the crap and keep what is worthwhile, toss the rest".
#2 Practice casting but don't over do trying to cast for distance. Practice curve casts, reach casts, wiggle casts, dump casts and cast for accuracy those are the things that will really pay off on the river.
Even if you have a sh!tty cast still let it drift *Unless there is a leaf on the hook*
In small river/stream tout fishing I have made it my goal not to get to the water walking up like a cave man
Photos and fish handling: Upon landing a fish begin holding your breath. Safely release the fish before exhaling and taking another breath.
After a bad day fishing read a Patrick F. McManus story or 2 and you will feel a lot better and smarter. I recommend starting with the book Never Sniff a Gift Fish.
There's some funny stuff here. I'll add a few.
-- If you want to know how fast to move while wade fishing, watch a heron.
-- It's damn near impossible to catch spooked trout.
-- Trout, aka a brain stem with fins, don't know if a baetis has 2 tails or three.
-- If you ever fish with me, know that I'll only wait for you one time if you're late.
-- Flies you see in shops are made to catch fishermen.
-- How the fly in your hand looks to you isn't nearly as important than how it looks to a trout in the water.
-- When you grab a whitefish in your net and his alligator death rolls spin the dropper fly and embed it in your wrist deeper and deeper with each roll, feel free to curse like a wounded pirate.
Never forget the babywipes.