RED ALERT--WE HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Discussion in 'Fly Fishing Forum' started by BOBLAWLESS, Nov 14, 2002.

  1. BOBLAWLESS

    BOBLAWLESS New Member

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    TOO ALL MEMBERS CONTEMPLATING SIGNING ON FOR AN EXPEDITION TO WYOMING IN SEARCH OF WILBUR, THE HATED 20lbs. BROWN TROUT:
    Be aware that someone on this forum has ratted us out. The Wyoming
    Fly Fishing members and their president have asked that we not enter the state of Wyoming without their permission. They have demanded a complete and detailed list of all weapons, including those persons who might be skilled in Karate. They have insisted that such weapons and persons be surrendered to them immediately.
    To this, I have said, "NUTS."
    The governor of Wyoming, unfortunately, is a member of their forum, and he goes by the name of ABOMB. Maybe we should take him seriously.
    I dunno. :DUNNO
    But, in light of this obvious attempt to circumvent our rights as fly fisherpersons, I am assembling a group of 100 mounted soldiers to accompany us. They will not be on the bus, for they will travel under separate cover in camo colored box cars via Great Northern R.R.
    Also, they are very hot about our having the intials WFF since their intials are the same. They have challenged us to a fight to see who will own the rights to WFF. I have responded that we will offer up Chris as our champion, plus a prizefighter. Winner takes all. I hope the members are with me on this.
    I must report that I am frightened and in need of some solid pledges of support from the members. :ANGRY
     
  2. Bright Rivers

    Bright Rivers Member

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    100 mounted soldiers? Camo box cars? Champions? Bob, when you said you planned your trips in your "war room" I thought that was just a quaint nickname. Now I'm really curious to hear more about it.

    db

    "If I don't catch them today, I'll catch them another day." Art Flick
     
  3. Surf_Candy

    Surf_Candy Member

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    I heard the World Flyfishing Federation also wanted to tussle for the WFF bumper stickers.
     
  4. Whitey

    Whitey Active Member

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    Bob, no worries my friend. I know people. some people say they know poeple that know people who know people. I just flat out know people, the kind of people that will put a dead fish on thier doorstep as a warning. A warning not to sleep with the fishes, if ya catch my drift. Just say the word, I'll make the call. :WINK YT
     
  5. Matt Burke

    Matt Burke Active Member

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    Bob, we can do this. I would rather be a solid pledge supporter, than an athletic supporter.

    Matt
     
  6. Dipsnort

    Dipsnort New Member

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    I pack a long rod, and I'm not afraid to use it!

    Now, would these mounted soldiers be women by any chance? If so, I'd be willing to be a mounter. :WINK
     
  7. XstreamAngler

    XstreamAngler ...has several mistresses.

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    Yaaaawwwwn...Big Streeeetch!!! Beer? Did somebody say beer? Tap? C0-2 or pump or .45 with a 2 foot section of garden hose? Hmmmmm! WOW! As the appointed beer tapper to this expedition, Sgt. Of Beer I prefer! I must say, I will ride with you into this! Can I wear a kilt, paint my face blue and carry a turkey drumstick? Why am I asking, I just will! I MUST insist that I bring my support, Team XXXstream! Don't worry fella's for those that are married, we will call them "support" for those that are NOT, we will call them table dancers! :DEVIL You can take my 20 lb brown, but you can't take my table dancers! oh yeah, and my freedom! Hey! 8:30am! Too early for a beer, switching to Crown Royal!
     
  8. Kaari White

    Kaari White Active Member

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    I'm sure they'll let you dress up and put on your blue face paint like you do every other Friday night! Table dancers in team X? That's not what I signed up for...Must mean you and pete getting up there wiggling around for billz.. :WINK
     
  9. Chris Scoones

    Chris Scoones Administrator Staff Member

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    I hope they understand when they kiss their sheep goodbye, it may very well be for the last time.
     
  10. Roper

    Roper Idiot Savant

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    Peace offering

    In and effort to avoid inter-state nuclear war, I suggest the following olive branch. Let's change the our team's acronym to:

    FTW

    No, that's not what it means, honest! It stands for Flyfishers Tracking Wilbur, really it does.

    Roper,

    Vincit Omina Veritas
     
  11. peter the nymph

    peter the nymph New Member

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    I'm doing what with who now? Egads, wiggle? Billz? Mmmm... OK.

    -ptn
     
  12. Piscator

    Piscator New Member

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    Beer!?? Where? Sign me up! Who cares about Wilbur, he scares me. But where do I sign up for TeamXXXstream? Beer doesn't scare me much at all.

    Fish on!
    Piscator
     
  13. Snagly

    Snagly New Member

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    Don't bite off more than you can chew, fellows!

    I don't know beans about the memberships of either the Washington or Wyoming FF associations. But being a member of this forum, I guess I'm on your (our?) side despite not knowing exactly what the dispute is all about. Something about Crown Royal (and cola, presumably?) in the morning made me identify a kindred spirit i X-Stream Angler . . .plus those lap dancers. Now where was I?

    There are some mean sumbitches in Wyoming. My best friend Slick lives there and he's a first-water stealing, sprinkle bear-piss-on-your-fly-when-you're-not-looking, mean-a$$ed fly dude. He's just now beginning to run his winter traplines up high in Yellowstone (and Teton) NPs, and always at night. The market for fur is coming back, and there's not much competition at altitude.

    His idea of "fun" is to climb one of the Tetons in the morning and ski down/ off it in the afternoon. His buddies basically run the back country rescue operations for Jackson, so they do crazy stuff like this on their days off. Some of them look like pretty boys in their multi-colored outfits, but you would be unwise to get on the wrong side of any of them . . . even if you had a few mounted troops out back. For one thing, they all hunt and are of the "one shot, one kill" level of proficiency. Most carry skinning knives on them even when in town. In short, real easy going, very nice and very scary folks. I certainly wouldn't want to warn the Wyoming FF's that you're coming after them . . . that would be akin to yelling out to Clint Eastwood "On the count of three I'm gunna draw!"

    But I have a plan. Slick gets up around 2 a.m. to drive then hike in to check his illegal traps. He has pretty pond out back his ranch that connects to a tributary of the Snake. It's full of cutties that over winter, plus the odd family of otters (which for some perverse reason he refuses to trap!) If a bunch of you fellers waited for sunup, Slick would be gone and you could come in, drill holes in the ice and use worms to fish out all the cutties. Clean 'em up pond side and put the trout heads on little tikki sticks, kinda Colonel Kurtz-like. Then you should cover your tracks and git the tarnation outta Dodge, 'cause Slick'll have the dogs out and after you! And he'll be packing, too.

    Come to think of it, this plan may not be so good as the pond probably isn't even frozen yet . . . certainly not to the point where you could walk on it. If you wait a month you can do it. But don't delay too long because Slick usually goes into winter camp mid-Jan and hunkers down with a squaw (usually a New York lawyer-ette he picks up over Christmas) till ice-out. So if you're at Flat Creek Ranch and a blond comes stumbling out on the back porch with a 30-ought-6 under her arm, you can relax. She won't be able to shoot anything but tequila. But if you tarry too long, you might just feel the crosshairs on the back of your neck. That'd be Slick, and you'd best drop your Orvis and step away from the hole sloooowly.

    PS Let me know if anyone needs a map out to Flat Creek Ranch.

    Oh, and good luck!

    Hope ya'll come back with your own hair, too! :EEK


    "Poor loops, but at least the fly is landing farther out than the main line these days"
     

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