I like it, it looks shrimpy to me. I'm no expert but I have three things to comment on. First, I think you could wrap your sparkle chenile a bit fuller behind the barbel eyes (hook eye side) where it looks a bit sparse to me. Second, I have been tying some shrimp patterns from books written and contributed to by super senior studs here on this site and many of them actually trim the top of the pattern so that it is relatively flattened and the "leg" side is fuzzy. Third, and only my personal preference, lose the barb. All that said, that looks as nice as many I've bought and I've stumbled upon a fish or two on them, so you've got a great jump if htat is your first crack at it. Want to tie up a dozen or so and send them to me? I look forward to seeing some fishporn with those embedded in the gums of some rezzies for sure.