"You see that? Those low class loudmouth kids are using BEADS over there on their cheap asian fly rods! That 'aint flyfishing, THAT 'AINT FLYFISHING! Im'a f--k some s--t up! Fools better KNOW that you best not be trippin in fly-only waters. Where my .45 at?"
"Try taking your rod and using a different grip on the shaft. You're pulling your head on every stroke. Make sure the tip stays level. If you have a nice even stroke, it will just shoot out the end. I mean absolutely launch."
See that lad across the beat? Yes, the one in the tartan plaid tweed, he's running a bloody nymph and indicator rig. He should be quartering down and swinging. The nerve of some of these new age nymphers.
See that rock out there in the middle of the river beyond that rapid? now since you just bought that 14 foot telephone pole because you read on the internet you had to have one to catch steelhead and don't even know how to cast it - you need to wade through that rapid to get on that rock so you can just hang the fly right in front of the fish to catch one. Good luck, I'm going to lunch with the ladies - you can pay me after you get done!