Look children! Here you can see a specimen of the North American Douche Canoe. They can easily be identified by their flat brimmed hats and puffy jackets in the wintertime. In the summer they can be identified by the wearing of board shorts, aviator sunglasses, a baseball cap worn backwards and/or a wife-beater tank top shirt. Their primary habitat includes frat houses, minimum wage jobs or their parent's garage. Spawning habits are similar to that of the Pacific salmon in that males will surround females, bump the females in order to cause the females to drop their eggs into the redd where the dominant male will deposit his sperm. This activity is sometimes referred to as a gang-rape and is often frowned upon. When confronted by a Douche Canoe your best defense is with a beverage commonly referred to as "horse piss" or "Keystone Light." Distracted, this will give you a chance to make a quick exit so that said Douche Canoe will not mistakenly attempt to spawn with, or attack you.