Amber 4/30

Headed out to Amber today. Never been there. I was in Spokane for a conference, and one of my many children happened to be up there as well in a tennis tournament. He and his doubles partner did quite well and won the consolation bracket. So he had a late match that I was able to make it to, and so I did not get to Amber until about 3pm.

I want to take this chance to give a shout out to Jesse and John at the Westslope fly shop. I PM'd Jesse during the week, and John was in the shop on Friday. Bought some stuff, love the shop.

Anyway, when I arrived to Amber the wind was blowing, somewhere around a gazillion miles an hour. I actually had second thoughts about launching my float tube because of the wind, but took a deep breath in and headed out. Actually downwind because that was the only choice. As I headed out, a song kept playing in my head - "Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship."

I spent the next hour trying to hold my position in the wind, not really fishing. The wind kept blowing me east. I had to quit when I blew into Idaho, as I don't have an Idaho fishing license. Did I tell you the wind was blowing? I don't own an anem- ane- an-, a wind-o-meter, but I am guessing it was blowing hard. I was moving with the wind about the same speed as a jet that flew over head, so I figure I was doing about 550 mph, give or take a bit. "The mate was a mighty sailing man, the skipper brave and sure..." kept singing in the back of my mind.

I did attempt to fish actually. I even tried to chironomid fish. I attached a hemostat to the bottom fly to check the depth, and I am pretty sure I got into my backing and it never touched bottom. Now I am thinking of the movie "The Abyss." I am not feeling good at this time. This is surely the place of the devil! However through a feat of superhuman strength and stamina - it is amazing what you can do when you are scared s###less - I was able to make it back to the launch.

By the way, the fishing sucked - I mean blew. I don't think there are any fish in Amber at all. I think they blew to Idaho.

And to top off this wonderful "three hour tour" I got lost in the town of Sprague, However one can do that. I actually had to open Google maps on my phone to find my way out. At that time I was beginning to hear the theme from Deliverence in the back of my brain.

But I am home and safe now, alive and well, with just my recurrent nightmares. Anyone who wishes to fish Amber, ye have been warned! "All hope abandon, all ye who enter here..."


Ed Call

Well-Known Member
Wayne, I busted my ass in the house and yard today because I'm headed to Red's tomorrow. My work today gets me a day with the Project Healing Waters Fly Fishing crew and I'm stoked. Reading your long winded report was great. I'm sitting here filthy and exhausted from the yard work but have wind aided grin from ear to ear and I think I hear both banjos and gale force winds blowing through palm branches! A story well told.


Active Member
Nice report Wayne-and an accurate one too given the wind conditions yesterday. And thanks for reminding me of that joke in Playboy eons ago: No!No! Suck!Suck! Blow is a euphemism......



The Dude Abides
yes....that fooker is a windy bitch. Was there yesterday with Wayne Jordan and OMR. We all hit about 7-8 fish on chromomanids....right Wayne? (inside joke)
Nice post Wayne!!
Now you know why we keep those 100# float tube anchors in stock didn't John try to sell you one?
Actually, I had 2 five pound anchors that I use for my toon in the truck, should have brung them along. Not sure my rope is long enough though. If I had my pontoon, I probably could have actually fished. I remember reading somewhere that when the wind blows, float tubes are better than toons, because they sit lower. That's a bunch of crap! The oars come in real handy. Next time I'm bringing the toon (and the trolling motor.)

um, if u were at amber, and ended up in sprague, and then got LOST in sprague, i think your doing it wrong.

funny report though.
Reminds me of the comedian who said "the label on KY jelly says to keep it out of your eyes. If you get it in your eyes, I'm pretty sure you are doing it wrong...."