FINALLY..........a nasty, long, soggy-arse March has officially come and gone...... ..the weather is warming up, people are filling flyboxes, cleaning lines, prepping their gear and dispositions are generally improving on here. Noteworthy March events included: - WFF members consumed 247,138,402 gallons of lager, pilsners, ales and stout - Zen caught 847 steelhead - Porter's cat killed 312 possums and one hapless gerbil - Old Man uttered 714,582 cuss words - Backyard fished twice a day, caught 1,537 assorted fish and tied 213,112 awesome flies - "Giant Pandas & Kent Lufkin" was the correct Jeopardy answer to the question "Name two mammals that need bamboo to survive" - Chad's boys drank 48 gallons of chocolate syrup - Wadin' Boot wrote nine more chapters of his upcoming book - Richard insulted my BIIX by calling it a "Wimpston" - I fished ONCE and caught exactly three small blackmouth the whole month - Smalma and Salmo G continued to enlighten and educate all of us - Alpine called someone out for being a and on and on and on.................... It seems we're finally transitioning to spring. January and February were out of control and even March had noteworthy moments of acute verbal diarrhea; several people were sent to the WFF penalty box to chill and read old clippings of Miss Manners. The Big Boss reminded us all to be respectful. Someone responded to my original "Be Nice" thread with a hearty "F You, Mingo.....down with optimism". Yet many threads that would have turned into a giant cluster in January and February were handled with mutual respect, excellent advice and good give and take last month. The thread on ff'ing vehicles, etc................cool fun, exactly the stuff we all come here to read and enjoy. Some useful gear and tech stuff was discussed........to those posters, let's give a huge HELL YEAH! :beer2: :beer2: :beer2: :beer2: Yep, winter is finally over. But damn, January and February and some March threads turned so weird on here that some new sponsors saw an opportunity to sell products to what they saw as their core demographic...................... Things seem to be looking up......finally. Of course, no matter the season, there will always be a few turds who insist on diving in headfirst and stinking up the whole punchbowl............................for example, the spoiled little brat who always got everything he demanded from his spineless parents and uses WFF as his tantrum release........................... Or the schoolyard loner who takes his juice box and runs home whenever he doesn't get his way.................. Or the self-appointed hall monitor who tries to take over the class whenever the teacher steps out of the room................... We've had an interesting influx of new members from around the globe lately too..........to them, we say Vilkommen, G'day, Kampai, Kombei, Skol, Cheers and all other forms of welcoming salutations.:beer2: :beer2: :beer2: With the intense international focus on WFF lately, some high-profile media flyfishers were ready to join up and start posting. Unfortunately, as a direct result of the Winter Flame Wars, this infamous, self-appointed Windbaggus Pachydermius approached Chris asking for a stint as a guest mod............................. Then when things died down and civility returned, we attracted the attention of a famous Italian TV hostess. Maria Sophia DeLaGasparina Maserati hosts the #1 fishing show in Italy, "Zuppa De Pesce". The lass is hopelessly addicted to the flyfishing game and talks about her love of the sport non-stop. Amazing that she found WFF over there, but word is getting OUT! she was all set to join our ranks until another dumbass argument flamed up and she fled with her flyrod to the banks of the lovely Nera, avoiding WFF controversy while making delicate presentations to wily trout on this lovely little spring creek in the Umbria region. See what happens when people act like complete idiots? Due to the overwhelming response and reaction to the plight of those poor Portugese orphans that Zen mentored last year, I have an update to share. A few WFF members went on a mission of mercy recently to visit them in their homeland. The idea was to learn more about their situation, teach them basic flyfishing skills and donate some much-needed clothing. These poor kids virtually have nothing to wear. Once again, WFF stepped up the plate and helped those in need. Chris chartered a flight for us on a hi-tech luxury aircraft.......... Zen opened the gates to the orphanage last year with his awesome diplomatic skills. He became so famous and beloved that they erected a statue of him in the Praca do Giraldo in Evora, where thongs of adoring female orphans follow him wherever he goes screaming "Bezerro Zen! Mi Amore, mi Bezerro Zen!" We all stared open-mouthed and slack jawed at the sheer size of this monument! This was my first trip and boy, what a gorgeous country. The Douro valley is amazing, Isla Faial is incredible with some great shots at tuna and white marlin and the Minho and Cavado rivers have some very savvy fish. I guess centuries of evading Celts, Vandals, Visigoths and hapless orphans with sharpened sticks have made them especially wary. As for the food........I hope I never eat Bacalhau again, but the pasteis de nata is awesome. WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! The following photos feature poverty-stricken Portugese orphans Those of you who are offended by photos of poor orphans, STOP RIGHT HERE and return to other threads!!!!!!! After we delivered several boxloads of clothing and other items, the nuns who watch after the orphanage were so overcome with emotion they honored Chris with his own theme song...........hum along to the Beverly Hillbilly's theme..........it's catchy! Sister Jacira De Montano, the Mother Superior of the orphanage and nearby convent, was a great sport, going along on fishing expeditions, bringing buckets of ice cold cervejas and awesome lunches. She also pointed out that in the past month, several busloads of American tourists have stopped by to see the orphans. She said "I don't understand thees, but touristas from U.S. all have BEEG wads of $1 beels in their handsss when they come to see our keeds????!?!?!!" It was wonderful to see orphans so eager and appreciative of the gifts they received. They were so happy..........the nuns told us they downloaded the site logo and made hand-lettered posters to honor the WFF entourage. One thing that was odd..........several members of our entourage refused to be photographed or have their names included in this trip report. I have no idea why, because helping orphans is a wonderful thing, it is not something to be embarrassed about! of course, any trip with this bunch will include some hijinks. One day, Alpine, 'Yard and Steelie Mike took a few of the young, bright-eyed orphans on an overnight flyfishing/camping trip. All seemed fine until it became apparent they had developed a bit of hero worship toward the lads. We also learned that like many WFF members, Portugese orphans and Portugese people in general really enjoy documenting a landmark event in their lives with a tattoo. A crush is no big deal, but as Sister Del Toro said, "But TAH-TOOZ???? No No NO pleez NO Tah-Tooz!!!" little Aboboras won the "Who Can Make The Coollest Clothing using WFF donated items" contest. She used stickers, tippet, a WFF stocking cap and an old spey line. What adaptability, what imagination!!!! Now, regarding "Tah-Tooz", the Old Man proved he still has plenty of practical jokes left in him. He volunteered, all on his own without any provocation, to drive two of the girls into town one night to buy popcorn and soda pop for disco night at the orphanage. They were gone for several hours and the nuns were frantic........... When they finally returned, Old Man ran and hid while this ugly scene unfolded..............poor pitiful orphans, trusting that naughty old fart!!!!!! All in all, it was a wonderful trip and I'm proud to have been a small part of it. Chris tells us next year, another WFF group will be going to visit the poor, hapless orphans of Sweden.