Dear Citori, NFR

Discussion in 'Fly Fishing Forum' started by Citori, Apr 19, 2008.

  1. Mr.E

    Mr.E He called me an Elitist ?? LOL ..what a moron

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2007
    Messages:
    682
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lakewood,Wa.
    Dear Dr. Citori,

    A friend of mine took me to the "S " river and let me play with his rod. The power I felt between both hands was just intense. It just felt so good handling his rod, swing it it back , side to side .....and that....that forward jerk! I feel so ashamed because I have always been a one handed type of guy. I feel so inadequate holding my own rod now.bawling:

    As a single hander, I was always told it isn't the size of your rod that counts but it is in the way you time your strokes.

    I just can't stop thinking of how two hands feel....these guys just know how to swing......Dr...what do you suggest?????

    signed

    So confused
     
  2. Citori

    Citori Piscatorial Engineer

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,230
    Likes Received:
    165
    Location:
    Auburn, WA
    Dear Mont,

    Stay home and become an expert on whatever she is doing, or not doing. Offer free advice at all times. Give that a couple of days, you will be able to go fishing whenever you want. Watch out for flying pots or pans.

    Citori
     
  3. Citori

    Citori Piscatorial Engineer

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,230
    Likes Received:
    165
    Location:
    Auburn, WA
    Dear Pan,

    You're here. Next question.

    Citori
     
  4. Tim Lockhart

    Tim Lockhart Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2006
    Messages:
    2,460
    Likes Received:
    1,307
    Location:
    Mill Creek, WA
    Dear Citori,

    So I have this duffel bag. I use it religiously for fishing as it's the perfect size, waterproof and quite durable. Now for the problem. The bag was once red like a fire engine, but over time has faded to what I call a more aged shade of red. My neighbor/fishing buddy swears up and down it's not red at all, but pink! He refuses to let me ride in his truck with the bag and, moreover, claims anyone with such a bag must be light in the loafers.

    I can assure you that the bag IS red and, furthermore, I don’t even own a pair of loafers. My question: Should I replace my trusty 'aged red' bag with something in black or perhaps camo to shut my colorphobic neighbor up, or should I continue to use the bag and annoy the hell out of him on purpose as I have been? :cool:

    Signed,
    Confused (but not curious)

    P.S. Congrats on your new profession...2008 Thread Of The Year nomination as of now...nice!
     
  5. Citori

    Citori Piscatorial Engineer

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,230
    Likes Received:
    165
    Location:
    Auburn, WA
    Dear Mike,

    Honestly, I don't even know how to respond. First order of business is to identify the 'person' who commented on the size of your ass in your waders, and show them your ass as you walk decidedly away. It is a well known fact that fish like fishermen who's asses look fat in waders.

    Citori
     
  6. Citori

    Citori Piscatorial Engineer

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,230
    Likes Received:
    165
    Location:
    Auburn, WA
    Dear Confused,

    Get a grip, seriously.

    Citori
     
  7. Panhandle

    Panhandle Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2005
    Messages:
    4,140
    Likes Received:
    80
    Location:
    Selkirk Mountains, Idaho Panhandle
    Well said.... well said. :ray1:

    Goodnight my friend.
     
  8. Citori

    Citori Piscatorial Engineer

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,230
    Likes Received:
    165
    Location:
    Auburn, WA
    Dear Confused but not curious,

    Seriously, a red bag, for fishing gear??? Red is just a darker shade of pink. I think you have just outed yourself. No longer does it matter what color bag you carry...

    Dude.

    Citori
     
  9. Itchy Dog

    Itchy Dog Some call me Kirk Werner

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2005
    Messages:
    3,956
    Likes Received:
    635
    Location:
    Doo-vall
    Home Page:
    Dear Citori,

    Sometimes late at night, after my family has long since gone to bed, I'll turn on my computer and log on to this site and look at Mingo's avatar.

    I'm a happily married man of almost 19 years. My wife and mother of my two children is a terrific gal. Am I being unfaithful by my actions?

    Signed,

    Virtual Voyeur
     
  10. IveofIone

    IveofIone Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2003
    Messages:
    4,070
    Likes Received:
    3,222
    Location:
    .
    Dear Citori,

    A couple of months back I won several million dollars in a lottery drawing. I tried hard to keep it secret but after a while questions started to be asked about my new pickup, SUV, motorhome and the new house we have started on the upper 40. Word got out and spread quickly. Now ex-buddies that have considered me too old, too loopy or too uncool to associate with have started to contact me and chat it up.

    Should I be flattered by their sudden attentions or just dismiss them as disingenuous twits that hope to somehow profit from my recent good fortune?

    Signed,

    Big Bucks Ive, formerly IveofIone
     
  11. Jim Wallace

    Jim Wallace Smells like low tide.

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2004
    Messages:
    6,340
    Likes Received:
    1,097
    Location:
    Cranberry Country...a glorified coastal swamp!
    Dear Citori,
    I've always admired the fascinating and informative postings of IveofIone, and although he and I have never met, I have recently entertained the idea of becoming one of his fishing buddies, as i know nothing about where to fish in the NE part of the state and I figured he'd be the one to hang out with.
    How do you suggest I go about this? I mean, without appearing like I'm just another "wet-sider" looking to raid the northeastern havens?
     
  12. Citori

    Citori Piscatorial Engineer

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,230
    Likes Received:
    165
    Location:
    Auburn, WA
    Dear Virtual,

    Personally I think you are OK. When he was president, Jimmy Carter said, " I've committed adultery in my heart many times...and God forgives me for it."

    Besides, those are some good looking sandwiches.

    Citori
     
  13. Citori

    Citori Piscatorial Engineer

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,230
    Likes Received:
    165
    Location:
    Auburn, WA
    Dear Jimbo,

    I have been to Ione. Think Dueling Banjo's. Leave your teeth and shoes at home and I think you boys will get along just fine.

    Seriously though. I have entertained thoughts like this myself with other members of this esteemed community. No risk, no reward. Shoot him an email and ask if he's up for a visit. In keeping with the "give before you get" philosophy the noob's don't get, you might invite him over for a razor clam dig and a try for some surf perch.

    Fishin' buddies don't have to go fishin' to be buddies.

    Citori
     
  14. Citori

    Citori Piscatorial Engineer

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,230
    Likes Received:
    165
    Location:
    Auburn, WA
    Dear Big Bucks,

    I feel necessary to let you know that your post has unfortunately come to me just after my last free consult. The invoice is in the mail.

    Also, I wouldn't be in too big a hurry to answer emails from members of this board interested in taking you in the woods to become your new "fishin' buddy".

    As for your "friends", of course they are twits! In fact, I am the only one with your best interests at heart - you definitely should not trust anyone else.

    You will be injured and hurt hearing this news, and you will definitely be in need of intensive counselling. While the other members of the board will no doubt miss my eloquent postings and hearty repartee, I will, for a nominal retainer, make my services available to you exclusively. I will be in Ione by noon tomorrow, and we can begin our sessions.

    You are so fortunate you got in touch with me before any real damage has been done.

    Citori
     
  15. Porter

    Porter Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2003
    Messages:
    7,935
    Likes Received:
    1,595
    Location:
    Kenmore, WA, USA.
    Dear Citori

    My double haul seems to be suffering and I think it's due to my receding hairline and my recent impotence, before a big fly fishing fishing event I can't seem to wake up with my few hairs upright and straight and my casting arm is limp and asleep. I'm truly exicited and anxious every morning before such an event but this problem seems to persist....the performance has regulary been poor lately ......any suggestions to improve? The catch rate is suffering...Please Help :)