Is it a mans fly fishing world??

Discussion in 'Fly Fishing Forum' started by Kaari White, Jul 8, 2006.

  1. gearhead

    gearhead Active Member

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    Consider this good fortune, it's not often that we learn the character (or lack of), of people we call friends, and may even respect. How many of us have known an individual for years maybe, only to find that they lacked the character or qualties we value.
    These are fortinate moments for you actually, allowing you to kick a jerk or jerks to the curb, and allows for you to spend time with people who share your same qualities. Move foward, don't look back. Life is full of disappointments, but surrender is never an option.
     
  2. Salmo_g

    Salmo_g Active Member

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    CWU,

    My condolences to you. Being rejected sucks. And it's made worse when you've done nothing to cause the rejection.

    You're about the same age as my daughters, and based on your posts that I've read it the past, I agree that the loss belongs to those going on the trip without you.

    Since I don't know either you or your father, I cannot make any judgement, but I have a feeling that a little heart to heart talk with him about how this affects you might be in order.

    There are a lot of reasons jackhole may have for telling douchebag1 that he didn't want any women to attend. Here are some I've heard before: some men's wives don't want them attending events that include an unattached female. Ages and group dynamic and composition don't matter. Some people are just paranoid, and sometimes they have valid reasons not to trust their spouses. Another that is common among men that came of age prior to the 60s is that they don't feel free to swear, belch, and fart, or tell off-color stories around the campfire, etc. Fortunately, this doesn't seem to be much of a problem among your age group from what I'me given to understand.

    Fortunately, you see that there are men and women on this BB who would welcome you to fish with them. 'Course maybe they're internet stalkers (on a fly fishing BB!), but the ones I've met aren't.

    I wouldn't worry about this trip if I were you. You seem like a squared away angler, and you'd be welcome in my fish camp most any time.

    Sincerely,

    Salmo g.
     
  3. Les Johnson

    Les Johnson Les Johnson

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    My wife, Carol and I have flyfished together from The Sea of Cortez and through VAncouver Island, the QCs, POW Island and on to Southeast Alaska, not to metion Oregon, California, Idaho and east into Montana over the past several years. She is my favorite fishing partner. In fact, we just this afternoon returned from eight days of flyfishing in the Idaho Panhandle for Westlopes.
    Good Fishing,
    Les Johnson
     
  4. Noah Pefaur

    Noah Pefaur New Member

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    CWU Girl,

    I'm sorry you had to go through that, it pretty much sucks. I do agree with Gearhead though. It is a rare opportunity to see people in difficult situations. How they act will tell you everything that you need to know about who they really are. It isn't polite to tell you how to respond to your father, but I would give him a good piece of advice if I met him, "don't do business with anyone that you can't punch in the face."

    It should make you feel good that the majority of posts here have been encouraging and even reflective. Most of us are happy to meet anyone who is good company and enjoys time on the river. Don't let it make you bitter.

    N
     
  5. earlsmith

    earlsmith Member

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    I would have to say that life is too short to waste time getting mad, and office politics suck, especially when they spill over into the behavior of your associates socially. I think EVEN is the appropriate term...and I agree somewhat with some other sentiments too, but your "friends should find thier morals and decline the trip. No girls in camp is BS... I spent the better part of my single years lookin for a girl like you LOL.........

    Anyway, If it wasn't political suicide to decline the trip, then thats what shouldbe done, and even if there is a price to pay for standing up for your friends, then that price is worth paying sometimes. There are leaders, followers, and independents, we know who we are that can and often do go alone.....fishing ect. cause sometimes the best company I keep is my golden, LOL

    I hope you know that some of us empathize with you, I was going to try the middle fork at the base of Mnt Si this week, it is rare to find other bodies in the stretches I like. You are more than welcome
    Earl
     
  6. Dipsnort

    Dipsnort New Member

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    Don't let it discourage you, CWGirl. You can't control how others treat you, but you can control your attitude when you're treated unfairly. There are a lot of potential fishing partners of either gender who I'm sure would enjoy fishing with you.
     
  7. Egg Sucker

    Egg Sucker Certified Trout Ninja

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    Come on fellas think what your missing out on!
     
  8. Kent Lufkin

    Kent Lufkin Remember when you could remember everything?

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    Yeah, I've heard they like to get drunk, dress up in men's underwear and dance around a burning pram :rofl:

    Seriously, my youngest daughter just turned 15. Being a teenager these days means living in a pretty brutal social world in which most of your 'friends' are only as true as the latest rumour being spread about behind your back and in which committments last only about as long as your most recent breath.

    The reality these formative experiences point to is that we need to be true to ourselves. None of us will ever have a best friend as good or as true as ourselves. If we end up in the company of others who happen to share even some of our dreams and values, so much the better.

    Now that your flyfishing 'friends' have turned out to be as fickle as the teenagers my daughter is forced to deal with every day, then it really is time for a new set of friends.

    You go girl :thumb:

    K
     
  9. In some circles, yes. Getting upset about it would be no different than me being upset about not being invited to my grandmothers tupperware partys. And believe me, I am an expert in the use of our plastic friend. In fact I would go as far as to say I love tupperware. Even the old spaghetti stained ones. Light weight, convenient, heat resistant, virtually unbreakable, and capabale of outliving the human race. What's not to love? Cups, plates, pitchers, bowls, that all stack neatly into a small cubboard. That my friend is technology at it's finest. Some guys are still old schooll and don't like women in their fishin camp. Some women are the same old school about their candle parties or whatever it is they do. No need to sweat the small stuff. Instead figure out a way to slowly snag a piece of tupperware to hold your thread or marabou without getting hit over the head with a frying pan by your significant other. :cool: At least until tupperware comes up with their own frying pan. then it won't matter if you get clocked in the nugget with one.
     
  10. Zen Piscator

    Zen Piscator Supporting wild steelhead, gravel to gravel.

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    Personaly I love fishing with women because they approach situations differently than guys, more careful and observent usually.

    I don't know if you will take comfort in this but the type of outdoorsman who excludes women is a dying breed.

    Peace,
    Andy
     
  11. Charapa

    Charapa New Member

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    It is NOT "generational-gap" (old geezers et al), every human group has its share of 'brain-undeveloped-jerks' & its accompaning group of 'timid-mob mentality-sheep'. Congrats in finding out who your real friends are.
    Many of us (those who think w/ our 'head-abv shoulders' instead of you know what) like women (people) & give the benefit of the doubt to them BEFORE avoiding (or labeling) them.
    Regards.
     
  12. doublespey

    doublespey Steelhead-a-holic

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    Hey CWU,

    I won't repeat all the nice consoling things people have said - they're all true.

    I'll only offer that you'll experience rejection whether your man or woman, black white yellow or red. Old or young. Skilled or unskilled. There's always going to be someone who might want to exclude you.

    Sometimes they tell you the reason, other times not. Maybe you're too good a caster and will make them feel inferior. Maybe you're too young and some of the old farts want to be exclusive. Maybe you fish with nymphs and they're a dry fly crowd. Maybe you talk too much. :clown:

    The social aspect of fishing is full of disappointment. Fortunately, you're an adult and can fish whenever, and with whom, you choose. As you've probably noticed by the responses, there are plenty of people who'd be happy to fish with you.

    Most of the guys I know think girls who like flyfishing are the 8th wonder of the world and line up to fish with them. I probably fit into that catagory - I've given quite a few freebie lessons as a result. I think you'll encounter that response far more often than the isolated exclusion because of your gender.

    Good Fishing,

    Brian
     
  13. chadk

    chadk Be the guide...

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    From that site:

    "Everyone is invited to attend the dedication
    of the vault toilet. You can make a brief
    stop on the way to a day of fishing, or just
    pop over the mountains to share in the fun.
    After all, how many opportunities ARE
    there in a lifetime to celebrate a toilet!"
     
  14. Kaari White

    Kaari White Active Member

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    Doublespey, that's why I was so shocked to be excluded! Pretty much guys love it that there's a girl that fly fishes around.... I've really only had negative experiences a few times. Most of those negative experiences related to my gender were while I was hunting, which isn't exactly smart considering I was holding a 12 gauge shotgun... But guys sometimes aren't really that smart with their comments!

    What I do run into often are strangers fishing that will automatically assume the guys I'm with are the experiences fishers and won't really address me as a real fisherman.

    On the flip side, guys low opinion of a woman's skills has payed off big time while fishing. Guys are all too willing to share information with a clueless girl. :cool:
     
  15. Richard E

    Richard E Active Member

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    That really is a major bummer . . . particularly considering that you have already been going up there, and are technically part of the 'team'.

    I just thought of something, though. I know the dynamics are a little different, but what if you and 14 of your female friends wanted to go on a simlilar trip and there were one lone guy that wanted to go along? Again, I understand there would be some slightly different dynamics, but I also wouldn't be surprised if the outcome were the same; you all would probably prefer for him not to go along.

    I'm not saying that I would or woudn't have voted for you to go along. Without knowing you, I think it would be pretty cool for a female to want to go along. But back to the dynamics thing, let's give the guys the benefit of the doubut and that maybe some of the guys are worried about that 'sexual' dynamics thing that can happen, especially when there is one lone female among many guys on a multi-day trip . . .

    Just some things to consider on a slightly different perspective.