Outdoor Pranks and Jokes

Discussion in 'Camping, Hiking, Cooking' started by Bonefish Jack, May 25, 2010.

  1. Rocket Red

    Rocket Red Vegetarian Cannibal

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    Outdoor Pranks and Jokes - the Myspace girlfriend joke.

    My favorite prank was when my friends and I created a fake MySpace account (so this was about 5 years ago) of a moderately good looking chick (one of our cousins), and started an online flirtation with one of the other buds who was going to go on this particular camping trip with us. Of course this girl is located in the town nearest our camping spot. First, we got him to go on and on telling us his deepest feelings, and basically being a total pussy. Then, of course he is trying to set up a chance to "hang out" with this girl at our campout. Once the hooks were good and deep and the e-mail chain sufficiently long and embarrassing, and he has sent about 50 pathetic glamor shots, we get on there with the "THIS IS JANINE'S HUSBAND, YOU POS. . . " and a bunch of stuff about how he is going to kill him, rip his dick off etc. A few days later we send another e-mail from a different address, but from the same cyber-girl with a picture of this crazy looking neo-nazi guy saying, if he see's the guy in the picture that he should get to safety ASAP.

    Now you all can probably predict that the crazy neo-nazi looking guy is a friend of a friend, a zany, born-again xstian, that looks like a complete psychopath. And he really is, he will turn every comment or statement into a Jesus thing. He and the friend really do live in the nearby town. The set up was so perfect. 2nd day camping, and we all decide to go to the bar, but the sucker/buddy is resistant. He is like "Naw, lets just go to that little store and buy some beer, ahh hell, I'll buy all the beer." Had we realized this we should have planned for the meeting on the 3rd or 4th day, we could have got all that free beer. Anyways, we go into the bar, and predictably he is posted up way back in the dark corner, almost too timid to order his next drink.

    On cue the "psychopath" walks into the bar. . . . Everyone is trying to non-chalantly watch our bud in the corner. He is sitting in the corner with his head turned towards the wall, staring at the other wall 5 inches away from his nose. I am pretty sure he was considering hiding under the table. It was the ultimate reward for 2 hard months of setup. Guy was on the verge of tears, and so I walked within whisper range. He whispers: "Duuuude sit down, NOW", and I say "Why? What is wrong with you tonight?". I sit down and he is like "That guy with the neck tatoo is going to kill me if you don't get me out of here. I am dead serious." I say "Do you know him?" instand red face from buddy, and he just lets it go"I had a 2 month online relationship with his wife, and he found out." I led him on for a long time, getting him to give me all the details, and then pschopath "sees" him in the corner and just gets this nasty snarl on his lips and makes a bee line for buddy.

    Our poor buddy jumps up and starts yelling "LOOK MAN I HAD NO IDEA SHE WAS MARRIED, YOU SHOULD BLAME HER FOR STARTING THE RELATIONSHIP, I AM SO SORRY!" and he is shaking now, his face is all blotchy, eyes are wet, but I don't think he drank enough to piss himself. The 'psychopath' handed him a Tootsie Pop sucker. Then we all just fell out laughing, by then the bartender and 50% of the yokuls were in on the joke.

    We all went back to our campout a little after that, and the joke was partially on us because that born again really was a psychopath who was annoying to the point that we were ready to drown him in the river. Later on when we were all partially lit, or mostly lit, our buddy asked if that cousin would be interested in him. Of course we had all the dialogue printed out to rub in his face throughout the weekend.

    That was a great practical joke.
     
  2. Eric-WD

    Eric-WD Member

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    a deer hair mouse with the hook removed and some 6 pound tipit on a cabin floor.
     
  3. Skeena88

    Skeena88 Member

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    Shortly after I started dating the girl who is now my wife, we took our two dogs out for a walk along an abandoned logging road that went back into the weeds for a few miles. It was pretty overgrown with lots of second growth forest, salmonberry, downed alder and stuff. (Really my dog and I were scouting for grouse in the alder thickets without telling her). Her dog was a big 5 year old malamute cross and my bird dog was a 4 year old chessie in her prime who wouldn’t have thought twice about facing down anything that threatened me. With 180lbs of dog with us there should be nothing to worry about. Right? About 3 miles into the woods, we stop for lunch and as we are sitting there chatting we hear a lot of brush getting broken, branches snapping, as something large is moving through the woods (there are a few elk out there). She hadn’t spent much time in the woods so she was pretty naive at the time. We all heard it, dogs are growling, hackles raised, she’s getting scared and clingy and of course a little light bulb goes off in my head saying “this could be funny”. But the set-up has to be just right. So I say “its probably a bear or a cougar, maybe we should head back”. We pick up our stuff and I grab a few rocks and stuff them in my pockets, saying we need them “just in case we have to fend it off”. So we start walking back towards the truck and every so often I’ll walk backwards like I am watching our back trail, trying to look anxious. When she’s not looking, I toss a rock into the brush, which sets off the dogs barking and growling again. We walk some more and I do it again. Same result, now she is getting freaked out and scared. I pick up a big stick and give it to her saying it might help her defend herself, and telling her “don’t worry about me, just get yourself and the dogs out of here if anything happens”. We walk some more, with me constantly watching our back trail which freaks her out even more. All of a sudden I toss another rock into the brush about 10 yards behind us, the dogs start barking like crazy and I run backwards past her screaming “jesus f*cking christ, run! Get out of here!” I swear she levitated for about 3 seconds before covering 100 yards in about 10 seconds flat beating through the brush like it wasn’t there. I could barely run for laughing so hard. When she finally caught on she whacked me a few times with the stick, punched me on the arms a few times and finally burst out laughing even though she was still crying and shaking like a leaf from the adrenaline rush. And that’s partly why I married her, because being able to laugh at yourself is priceless. Needless to say, I didn’t get laid that night.
     
  4. Mark Walker

    Mark Walker Active Member

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    Great one Skeena!:thumb::thumb::thumb:
    Literally LMAO.
    :rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  5. Mingo

    Mingo the Menehune stole my beer

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    Scaring the shit out of your woman in the woods = 100% guaranteed locked vajayjay and a lonely weenus that night....................
     
  6. P.Dieter

    P.Dieter Just Another Bubba

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    It was more complicated than that. We needed it recorded so we couldn't wait forever so we needed a way to get him to go over to his tent on cue. It was early, not much whiskey involved it wasn't needed. (I saw the mount while it was still in the car and my heart still skipped and I stepped back). One of the best parts of it was that a cougar was actually sighted earlier in the day so that discussion was already on people's minds.

    Steve said that the only thing that ended up bringing him back to earth was finally registering the hysterical laughter.




    There are no invitations to Burning Pram, you either show up or you don't. But if you do show up bring an extra pair of underwear.
     
  7. Andrew Lawrence

    Andrew Lawrence Active Member

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  8. Alex MacDonald

    Alex MacDonald that's His Lordship, to you.....

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    We used to ride years ago with the Sacramento Bike Hikers, who have an annual coast tour, around two hundred miles over highway 1 in the Mendocino area. One of the guys, who was a city boy, left a bag of beef jerky in his tent, and that night, one of the resident "woods kitties" decided to gnaw through the tent wall for the slim jims. Poor ol` Gabe came outta the tent like a Roman candle! So next year, we got one of those cloth hand puppets, tied it to some mono, and hid it under some of the clothes in his tent. After riding fifty or sixty miles along highway 1, up and down hills, dodging logging trucks, you're pretty tired, and he decided to crash while it was still light. A few judicious tugs on the mono, and ol` Gabe came outta the tent like a Roman candle......again!!
     
  9. brodie

    brodie Member

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    I took my two sons backpacking a few years ago. When I got up in the morning, much earlier than them, I found rock formations around the tent,Blair Witch style. One of them had sneeked out during the night and set them up. It had me thinking for awhile.
     
  10. Gary Thompson

    Gary Thompson dirty dog

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    My Dad and his buddy took myself and his buddies son backpack fishing into a little lake.
    We set up camp where there was a trail leading to the lake.
    That nite Dad and Bob had told some scary stories (cop stories) about campers getting beaten etc.
    Very early that AM while it was still dark all hell broke loose with Dad and Bob shouting at what ever to get out of there.
    We were not in tents so I stayed curled up in my sleeping bag until the noise was over.
    Dad and Bob ask if everybody was all right. Sure no problem.
    Well, Dad and Bob put their bags in the trail that lead to the lake and when the herd of elk came to drink.
    I guess the joke was on Dad and Bob.
    Now, how I got those elk to play the game, I ain't tell'in
    The only thing that got hurt was the coffee pot. The elk kicked the shit out of it.
     
  11. Citori

    Citori Piscatorial Engineer

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    stringing up cans with pebbles in them as a bear alarm perimeter is always good for a laugh. Tie a leader to the string and back to your bedroll. A few tugs in the night will have everybody awake and ready to move out...
     
  12. jergensCsquad

    jergensCsquad Joe's brother

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  13. Jim Ficklin

    Jim Ficklin Genuine Montana Fossil

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    Now if someone knows these "family members" & clued one in so they could swap the milk duds for the bona fide, THAT would be a classic prank . . .
     
  14. Mark Walker

    Mark Walker Active Member

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    Me and my "doggie", coming soon to your secluded campsite.
    Sleep well kiddies.:rofl:
     
  15. Dustin Bise

    Dustin Bise Active Member

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    u always have the words of wisdom :p