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Paraprosdokian's

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892 views 17 replies 10 participants last post by  Peyton00 
#1 · (Edited)
Here's a little something that hopefully gives you a grin or two and lightens up the forum.
Some seem pretty applicable to the forum especially with some of the recent "goings on".

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What's a "paraprosdokian"?
Posted on December 7, 2012 by Carolyn Thomas

Sir Winston Churchill apparently loved a good paraprosdokian. Do you know what that is?
First, the word's definition:
"A figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected"
Here's a classic example of a paraprosdokian from Sir Winston: "If you are going through hell, keep going!" And here are 20 more non-Churchill paraprosdokians:
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify ___" - I put 'DOCTOR'.
13. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
20. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
 
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#6 ·
#1 is actually derived from a Proverb - 26:4. In fact, several of them are just reworded Proverbs.

Problem with me is... I'm sometimes "slow to learn".

Thanks for the post! :)
 
#12 ·
Years ago when Life, Colliers, Look and Saturday Evening Post were still publishing, good cartoons were a staple. Not the mean, nasty insulting shit we see in political cartoons nowadays but just real funny stuff. I cut those out for years and had a nice collection of humor when I went into the service. One of my favorites pictured a stern looking little old lady with wire rim glasses sitting in a big chair with a globe next to her to which was attached a ball peen hammer on a rope. She was reading a newspaper and the globe was badly dented!

Somehow OMJ's post reminded me of her.
 
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