Tidal Report and a request for poetic license in Pink Reports

Discussion in 'Saltwater' started by wadin' boot, Jul 29, 2013.

  1. wadin' boot

    wadin' boot Donny, you're out of your element...

    Jun 3, 2006
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    Wallingford, WA
    Home Page:
    I cast from a kayak- this I’ll confide
    In the last of the low tides
    In an estuary I’ll confess
    A herring fly with flashabou dress
    Dumbbell eyes and a gray chenille trunk
    Both black and white with marabou junk

    I twerked it in time with pleasureboat wakes
    Behind branches big with weeds I wished for takes
    through waters swirled green and gin clear
    Atop an iron-hooped creosote pylon an osprey appeared
    Below it and among those sodden logs draped with dross
    There was a fish we’ll call The Mighty Hoss

    With incoming tide the wind changed its pitch
    Accordioned my cast- made a mess of this be-aatch
    The current put on a passable mend
    To the riverbed where that fly could creep and contend
    Kicking up silt bunnies that chased like tiny Djinn
    And down there that’s where that Devil Hoss would go all in

    Imagine a reel without drag a rod without merit,
    And a fly’s stuck fast in Big Hoss’ Ferrit
    A kayak anchored fast in sedimentary muck
    An angler who shouts out “Holy Fatima”
    For The Mighty Hoss has struck with incredible force
    Pulled line to the East, the West and Burlington North

    God's my witness and sos the Osprey and seals
    A reel wound too loose is a dangerous deal
    There goes the young coconut juice in a tangle of line
    A mess of fat loops cinches my bind
    Big Hoss is pulling fifteen-freight cars long
    I gots 3x I aks what else could go wrong?

    The rod it would seem- it snapped up high
    See high sticking is something you don’t try
    With a giant creature intent on returning to the sea
    If not for that tangle I coulda prevented Big Hoss flee'n...
    With thumps and kicks the line got super tight
    And ---TING---Hoss was gone, thank you good night

    The moral of the story if there is one to be told
    Is fish now before you get old
    And if it's too windy to fish Lincoln Park for pinks
    Fish Boot’s Tonic Herring fly me thinks.
    I’ll sell it for $10 and I’ll guarantee no loss
    Like Triggs one thing I won’t sellout is the lurkum of Big Hoss

    Oh and care for your rod, care for your reel
    And before the fish gods I now kneel
    Humbled and thrilled
    (Maybe I'll become more skilled?)
    Naah not me-I like it half-assed- I'll tip my young coconut juice and smile
    Outta respect for Big Hoss once and a while

    (Broke my cheap Gi-Joes rod- though not in the manner sorta fictionalized above, I tried the rod tip into the murk to dislodge the stuck fly technique, and the top quarter, like the fly, never re-appeared. That $99 North X Northwest rod was by far my favorite go-to. I realized my reel is/was crap (again) and tangled with searuns and bulls and was snapped off in a clean, knot-free break by something of generous proportions. That's my report. And with any luck I'd like to encourage the soon to be monotonous dirge of "I caught these pinks" reports be written with poetry instead, preferably bad poetry with a lots of bad rhyming. I mean there's a lot to rhyme with pink, hootchie, jig etc etc. Bad/funny Photoshop also accepted. I will promise one Boot's Tonic herring fly to a pink report with a ton of "likes" as incentive. That's like a $10 value right there. I mean it's kind of a big deal when you think about it.)
  2. Jim Wallace

    Jim Wallace Smells like low tide.

    Jan 23, 2004
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    Cranberry Country...a glorified coastal swamp!
    Slow afternoon yesterday, eh?:D

    Well, I noticed Boot's poem
    And cried out a moan,
    Because it dredged up memories of folly my own.
    Freeing a stuck fly with a treasured rod's tip,
    Is a "no-no" for sure,
    That can end your fishin' trip!:p
    wadin' boot likes this.
  3. obryan214

    obryan214 Member

    Nov 12, 2011
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    Tacoma Wa
    Their once was a fish from Nantucket
    To every one who tried to catch him he said suck it:eek:
  4. flyfool

    flyfool Active Member

    Aug 4, 2011
    Likes Received:
    Lynnwood, WA
    I hurried down to the sea again,
    the lonely sky and sea,
    Drove right up to my Secret Spot;
    nobody there but me.
    The day was really sunny
    and everything just so nice
    So it completely escaped me
    that I forgot to buy any ice.
    It was a good day of fishing & wading;
    I caught me plenty of pinks
    Now I just have to explain to the wife
    why her Honda stinks.
    Baardo, mtnwkr and wadin' boot like this.

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