Unluckiest steelheader in the world.

Discussion in 'Steelhead' started by DanielOcean, Oct 21, 2017.

Tags:
  1. Ed Call

    Ed Call Mumbling Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2008
    Messages:
    20,234
    Likes Received:
    5,650
    Location:
    Kitsap Peninsula
    Just fish and enjoy.
     
    JACKspASS and bk paige like this.
  2. JesseC

    JesseC Active Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2009
    Messages:
    2,431
    Likes Received:
    1,721
    Location:
    seattle, wa
    Daniel, let me offer you some kind words of encouragement. You mean a lot to all of us. Your struggle makes a difference. And you matter. You matter because you make us feel better about ourselves. And that’s awesome.

    It’s the same as how really hot girls always hang out with a really big ugly one. They need that big ugly one, to keep doing what they’re doing - being super hot and feeling super hot. If there wasn’t a big ugly one, then there wouldn’t really be a super hot one. And no one wants that man. No one.

    It’s going to be a bummer when you do catch one. And it’s super selfish of you to ruin that for all of us.

    Any time I am having a rough go at it and feel like giving up I just tell myself, “hey man, you’re not danieloceanz, sack it up”! You keep me going DO.

    Or like, you know...when I have a long day and only catch one.......after really pounding the heck out of the water. At least I can still snuggle up with the warm blanket of a thought “sigggggggghh, at least I’m not DaniellOcean”. You make me happy with myself DO.

    Or like when I hook a big ol monster one.... and freak out something fierce, fight it like a 800lb greased pig, and inevitably break it off. Instead of crying for too long I can just say out loud. “But, at least I’m not DO”! You make my failures seem like success DO.

    Don’t take that away from me man. Take your time. There’s no rush fella.

    Plus, you’re so far in - there’s no real recovery. You ought to give fate the middle, and only fish surface flies. Just go big, yeah that’s the ticket. Surface swings or it doesn’t count. :)

    PS, it doesn’t count if you catch it with a guide. :evil grin:
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2017
  3. Gyrfalcon2015

    Gyrfalcon2015 Wild Trout forever

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2016
    Messages:
    1,665
    Likes Received:
    1,690
    WTF????
     
    JS, JesseC and jake-e-boy like this.
  4. Northweststeel

    Northweststeel Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2011
    Messages:
    117
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    seattle
    I bet Dan as already caught a steelhead already
     
  5. JS

    JS Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2006
    Messages:
    1,247
    Likes Received:
    364
    That would be the most incredible trolling of all time.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
     
    Northweststeel and JesseC like this.
  6. JesseC

    JesseC Active Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2009
    Messages:
    2,431
    Likes Received:
    1,721
    Location:
    seattle, wa
    Honestly, Orvis should sponsor DO and send him on a trip to Kamchatka just to film his very first swing eat for IFM.

    Debbie Downer - rivers blow out two days before the copter touches down, roflmmfao.

    But not to be deterred, because as we all know, Orvis is the outdoor brand that personifies the unrelenting pursuit of success in the face of extreme odds (As well as fine home furnishings) - Orvis is the one brand with the dedication, clout, CACHE, (delightful lady smocks) and unrivaled determination to make this happen.... so they fly him up to the inside passage.

    DO boards the Orvis company yacht. He pays no attention to the fact that the decor reminds him of his great grandmothers house. It’s in the air, the man musk, the smell of Orvis Guide of the Year glory, of men who looked adversity in the face (under a buff) clenched their teeth, and said to hell with that mid day meeting, i’m going blue ribbon trout stream hunting! The hall of triumph. Daniel is feeling spectacular here. This place. These people. He is loved.

    A horrific looking white man emerges from the aft storage locker. He speaks only the native dialect. We think it’s the native dialect, but no one speaks that either, but that sounds better than saying he’s a mongoloid or something. You see, he washed ashore at the age of 7 after his Dad’s commercial canning vessel went down in a wretched storm. He taught himself the means of survival by becoming one with nature. If there is one man who can burst the long ripened leathered crust of Daniels cherry, it is this feral man beast from the nether regions of untouched steelhead havens.

    Orvis means business. Daniel is burgeoning at the seams, salivating with the thought of sinking his 7inch red rocket intruder into the steelface of an unsuspecting mythical beast. “Do they really exist”? “Is this a perverted joke that the world has conspired against me”? He flushes the tantilyzingly deep thought from his complex mind.....and focuses on a shiny rock the size of a juicy melon across the bank. “Maybe it IS a melon”, he thinks to himself. “It sure looks like a really nice f$cking melon”. He panics at the thought of a melon being in the middle of nowhere, but manages with a feat of adrenal fueled strength to launch a laser of a perfect cast down the river....a river that hasn’t seen a line in decades.....

    THE LINE GOES GOD DAMNED TIGHT! Flashes of being on the podium of success burst forth, Something massive swirls and Then races with anger upstream.

    Debbie Downer 2....

    From behind the ferns he has been hiding in, Our feral beastman guide lets out a shriek of unintelligible terror. A grizzly bear the size of a mastodon howls and charges effortlessly out of the woods and half way across the river.

    Not having even the opportunity to feel the tug, our valiant hero DO drops his Orvis H7 prototype in the drink and shuffles with fervor to the waiting tricopter. He watches from above as the grizzly bites off the head of his 27lb chrome buck, leaving the flaccid body to waft undesired down into the green depths. The bear haunches over as if poised to leap at the copter, but instead a look of see satisfaction sweeps across its gnarled face......as it enjoys a massive mid river shit.

    Daniel is sad. He knows there aren’t any melons on the yacht.

    Next time DO! Next time!!!!!!!!
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2017
  7. FinLuver

    FinLuver Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2012
    Messages:
    2,962
    Likes Received:
    1,535
    Tip: Fish alone. That way your buddies won't catch 'em in the "good, marginal, bad" water before you do. ;)
     
    JesseC likes this.
  8. DanielOcean

    DanielOcean Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2009
    Messages:
    4,282
    Likes Received:
    3,955
    Location:
    Monroe
    You are one crazy dude. :)
     
    JesseC likes this.
  9. DanielOcean

    DanielOcean Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2009
    Messages:
    4,282
    Likes Received:
    3,955
    Location:
    Monroe
    Interesting fact: All of the time I have been on the water so far, and with the best of them. I have never seen another on the same run as me swing one up. However, I have heard of those swinging them upriver, or down river at different runs. The curse is contagious.
     
  10. Evan Burck

    Evan Burck Fudge Dragon

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2007
    Messages:
    7,339
    Likes Received:
    3,643
    Location:
    NW Oregon
    Home Page:
    I've personally seen him catch at least a half dozen. This quest is about catching one swinging... on something that isn't made of plastic.
     
    Rob Allen likes this.
  11. JACKspASS

    JACKspASS Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2016
    Messages:
    425
    Likes Received:
    553
    Location:
    Idaho

    giphy-13.gif
     
  12. parkzr3

    parkzr3 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2015
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    43
    Common you spent all this computer time building the allure of the "DO Saga" and now you don't want to play the character anymore? Go fishing more often and longer!
     
    jake-e-boy and JS like this.
  13. karnage

    karnage Have you swung a fly today?-

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2015
    Messages:
    427
    Likes Received:
    240
    Location:
    Vancouver WA
    Seriously you have not swung up a steelhead? This is not an on going joke ?

    I am asking and not making a joke
     
  14. David Dalan

    David Dalan 69°19'15.35" N 18°44'22.74" E

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2007
    Messages:
    2,670
    Likes Received:
    1,374
    Location:
    Walla Walla, WA
    This. I don't know how many times I've told people about smashing fish with 60K-80K over Lower Granite. This year should be fine.

    I also agree with Salmo...I cheated. I was a proficient gear angler before I ever threw a fly for a steelhead. I hooked one the first year, but it was three years before I put one on the bank (clipped). That was on the GR, late October on a Sol Duc Spey no less.

    You can do it!!!!
     
    jake-e-boy likes this.
  15. Yard Sale

    Yard Sale Huge Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2008
    Messages:
    3,187
    Likes Received:
    4,045
    Location:
    The Hood
    Fuck. I just want you to get one so this saga can end. It's like a decent movie where they wrap up all the details but then throw in another action scene that goes another half hour. Then they start making sequels.
     
    jake-e-boy likes this.