i wouldnt palmer the bunny. too much bulk, tough to get down and tough to cast once it gets water logged. also be wary of material past the hook bend, it will foul up pretty easily. i'm no expert but ive tied enough flies that dont fish to know! haha
joe nailed it. string leeches are dirty. just substitute palmered bunny for a few turns of marabou. i throw a few turns of schlappen under there too. jason put me up on that fly on a methow trip this fall.
Try a MOAL is you get bored. One thig I did notice is your egg hooks. Tie these with Owner SSW or Octapus style hooks. You will get a better hook set when the fish turns their head that way. You should also try dubbing the bunny for the collar, makes for less bulk and less weight when pulling the fly out of the water.