What's your favorite fly fishing joke?

jamma

Active Member
Here's mine:80 year old man goes in for a check up.
Dr.:I must say,you have the constitution of a man half your age.I'm curious,tell me,to what do you attribute your good health?
FF:I'm a fly fisher.I'm up at the crack of dawn,hiking up and down the river,taking in all that fresh air.
Dr.:I'm sure that has something to do with it,but I think there's more.How old was your father when he died?
FF:Who says he's dead? He's 100 and still going strong.As a matter of fact,he was out fishing with me this morning.
Dr.(starting to get irritated)That's all well and good.Then how old was your grandfather when he died?
FF:Who says he's dead?He's 119 and still fit as a fiddle.
Dr.(exasperated)I suppose you're going to tell me he was out fishing today,too?
FF:No,he couldn't make it,he's getting married today.
Dr.:Married!??!Now why would a 119 year old man want to get married?
FF.(winking)Who says he wanted to?
 
One fellow wades into the water on a pretty heavily fished area of the river and asks the fellow next to him how is it going this morning any luck? The fellow replies a few small ones but I had a 17 lb 9 1/2 oz Steelhead on for about 10 minutes and just as I was reaching for my net it snapped my leader and got away.... How then did you know how much it weighed then? Oh he had Scales on it
 
T

Trapper

A young fly fisherman slides down a steep bank to the water. He sees an old white haired man sitting on a log looking out over the river. He steps closer and says, "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't see you there."

"Oh, that's fine, son. There's plenty of fish here for the both of us." The old man slowly rose from the log and waded out a few feet from shore. "Just give me forty or so feet and we'll be fine."

The two fished for a half hour; each catching several fish.

A funeral procession of a dozen or so cars began crossing a bridge just upstream from them. The old man stopped fishing, took off his hat, and bowed his head until the cars had all passed. He then put his hat back on, dried off his fly and began casting.

The young angler was visibly impressed. "Sir, I must say you have got to be one of the most kind hearted people I've ever known. That was a very touching gesture."

The old man set the hook on a rising fish and began stripping fly line to take up the slack. "Well, we were married for 58 years!"
 

Mark Walker

Active Member
A fellow was on his honeymoon near his favorite fishing lake and he would fish from dawn to dark with his favorite fishing guide. One day the guide, friend of many years, mentioned that the honeymoon seemed to be spent just fishing.

"Yes, but you know how I love to fish..."
"But aren't you newlyweds supposed to be into something else?"
"Yes, but she's got gonorrhea; and you know how I love to fish"
A few hours later, "I understand, but that's not the only way to have sex."
"I know, but she's got diarrhea; and you know how I love to fish..."
The following day: "Sure, but that's still not the only way to have sex."
"Yeah, but she's got pyaria; and you know how I love to fish..."
Late that afternoon, thoroughly frustrated: "I guess I'm not sure why you'd marry someone with health problems like that."
"It's 'cause she's also got worms; and you know I just love to fish..." :D
 
D

dld

Favorite comes from the TV show 'News Radio':

Bill: Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish...
JJ: ...and he will spend all of his time in his basement tying flies and neglecting his personal hygiene.
 

Travis Bille

Active Member
A fellow was on his honeymoon near his favorite fishing lake and he would fish from dawn to dark with his favorite fishing guide. One day the guide, friend of many years, mentioned that the honeymoon seemed to be spent just fishing.

"Yes, but you know how I love to fish..."
"But aren't you newlyweds supposed to be into something else?"
"Yes, but she's got gonorrhea; and you know how I love to fish"
A few hours later, "I understand, but that's not the only way to have sex."
"I know, but she's got diarrhea; and you know how I love to fish..."
The following day: "Sure, but that's still not the only way to have sex."
"Yeah, but she's got pyaria; and you know how I love to fish..."
Late that afternoon, thoroughly frustrated: "I guess I'm not sure why you'd marry someone with health problems like that."
"It's 'cause she's also got worms; and you know I just love to fish..." :D


I told this a few times at work and got a number of groans and eye rolls. Thanks!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

flyawayfish44

Active Member
A fellow's having a great day on the river, catching all kinds of beautiful fish. Warden comes down to the banks and calls the fellow in. The warden says, "Sir, did you not see the posted sign saying you can't fish here?" The fellow has a puzzled look on his face and says, "what do you mean, that sign says this spot is fine for fishing!"
 
D

Deleted member 10700

WDFW Steelhead management and restoration plan[emoji12]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Jiminsandiego

Active Member
An old farmer in Florida, after a hard days work, decides to hike down to his pond to catch his dinner. With his rod and a bucket in hand he arrives only to see three women skinny dipping in his pond. One woman shouts out "If you think we 're getting out of the water with you there than you're crazy." The old farmer replied (while holding up the bucket) " Oh don't mind me, I'm just here to feed the gators."
 

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