Perhaps a one size fits all chest protector. Size it for a 6’2” 180 lb. person or similar. After getting all that fat that sticks out around the chest protector hit by a few 95 mph foul tips a dozen or so times maybe they would lose some weight or outright quit.Over the years I have complained about obese umpires and thought there should be some kind of fitness protocol for them to have the job. The idea of some old fat slob behind the plate calling balls and strikes that doesn't have the basic mobility to adjust his vision from one side of the plate to the other flies in the face of reason. Add to that giving them the authority to eject a young player with much better vision that questions a call is bogus as well. This year I have watched numerous pitches that were neck high or ankle low or off the plate by several inches be called strikes and guys get thrown out-along with managers-who disputed those errant calls. Time for electronic balls and strikes. I am starting to view umpires in the same light as steam engine firemen after diesel locomotives replaced steam-unnecessary.
Yesterday proved one of my points about obese umpires. Cowboy Joe West-who is actually a pretty good balls and strikes umpire but far from perfect-was knocked down by a play at the plate and fell on top of one of the players. Joe, who is horribly fat, couldn't get up and his massive weight had the player pinned to the ground. Other players had to lift him off as he was unable to move himself.
Okay, I've seen enough of this crap. Players are being paid hundreds of millions of dollars to come to the ballpark and hit, millions of fans pay billions of dollars a year to watch those games and see their favorites hit. When a player, regardless of his salary, is struck out on pitches that never cross the plate he has been cheated and the paying fans along with him. Then the league backs the umpires that make the bad calls, there is no discipline for being a bad umpire. Angel Hernandez is still working---I rest my case.
Remember the height gauge at Disneyland that prevented you from getting on a ride if you were too short? I think baseball needs to develop a width gauge for umpires-if they can't walk through they can't be an umpire. Or a template like NASCAR uses to insure that every car is shaped exactly alike no matter what make. Perhaps a circumference ring that they had to fit through to qualify. When bulk impedes competence it is time for a change.
I realize that this is a Mariner thread so speaking of the Mariners.....well, nobody is.