NFR Quarantine Humor

silvercreek

WFF Supporter
Amazing technology...watch to the end.

View attachment 276943
It's not real. It is a 4 year old April fool's post by Google,


Screen Shot 2021-04-02 at 9.17.52 AM.png
Screen Shot 2021-04-02 at 9.18.14 AM.png
 

silvercreek

WFF Supporter
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown.

A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass.

Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?"

The shepherd, always the gentleman, said, "Sure!"

The blonde thought for a moment and, for no discernible reason, said, "352."

This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed, and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."

The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked the one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.

When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"
 

Buzzy

Active Member
An Elementary School Teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you.



While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic !


1.
Don't change horses
until they stop running.
2.Strike while the
bug is close.
3.It's always darkest before
Daylight Saving Time.
4.Never underestimate the power of
termites.
5.You can lead a horse to water but
how?
6.Don't bite the hand that
looks dirty.
7.No news is
impossible.
8.A miss is as good as a
Mr.
9.You can't teach an old dog new
math.
10.If you lie down with dogs, you'll
stink in the morning.
11.Love all, trust
me.
12.The pen is mightier than the
pigs.
13.An idle mind is
the best way to relax.
14.Where there's smoke there's
pollution.
15.Happy the bride who
gets all the presents.
16.A penny saved is
not much.
17.Two's company, three's
the Musketeers.
18.Don't put off till tomorrow what
you put on to go to bed.
19.Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
you have to blow your nose.
20.There are none so blind as
Stevie Wonder.
21.Children should be seen and not
spanked or grounded.
22.If at first you don't succeed
get new batteries.
23.You get out of something only what you
see in the picture on the box.
24.When the blind lead the blind
get out of the way.
25.A bird in the hand
is going to poop on you.
And the WINNER and last one!
26.Better late than
pregnant.
 

silvercreek

WFF Supporter
A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.

When they made it to the bedroom, they saw a big brass gong next to the bed.

"What's a big brass gong doing in your bedroom?" one of the guests asked.

"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup," replied the drunk.

"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.

"Watch," the drunk replied.

He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering whack, and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You asshole, it's ten past three in the morning!"
 

silvercreek

WFF Supporter
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
 

Support WFF | Remove the Ads

Support WFF by upgrading your account. Site supporters benefits include no ads and access to some additional features, few now, more in the works. Info

Latest posts

Top