NFR Quarantine Humor

silvercreek

WFF Supporter
One dark night outside a small town in Alberta, a fire started inside the local sausage plant and in a blink it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the volunteer firefighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved and I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact." But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.

Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.

From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Mundare rural township volunteer fire department composed mainly of Ukrainians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Ukrainians, passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant....and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.

Outside the other firemen watched as the Ukrainian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the Mundare old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Ukrainian firefighters.

The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on film asking, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

Vell," said Nick Sputski, the 70-year-old fire chief, "da furst thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck!"
 

Peyton00

Active Member
I paid $10 for a cheap ass 2×4 that weighed about 2 lbs from a tree that was planted a few years ago.

I have old shim that weighs more than new era lumber.
 

silvercreek

WFF Supporter
A group of Army staff officers are getting ready for a meeting.

While waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, the Colonel starts a conversation with his staff about his lack of sleep the previous evening. Apparently Mrs. Colonel was feeling a bit frisky, and dealing with her desires kept him from getting enough sleep.

He decides to pose a question to his staff: What percentage of sex is pleasure, and what percentage is work?

The junior Lieutenant responds "It's seventy five percent pleasure and twenty five percent work, Sir."

The Captain says, "I believe it’s fifty fifty either way."

The Major is positive. "It's certainly twenty five percent pleasure and seventy five percent work."

At this point, the Colonel notices that the PFC making the coffee is grinning and shaking his head. The Colonel asks "Private, you've heard this discussion, what do you think about the question?"

"Sir", the Private responds, "It's surely one hundred percent pleasure."

The Colonel, intrigued, asks him why.

"Sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it."
 

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