NFR Quarantine Humor

silvercreek

WFF Supporter
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

Terry had married a woman from America and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed to be done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

Jimmie had married a woman from Australia. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the house cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Canadian girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a landscaper.
 

cdnred

Active Member
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
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So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
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St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
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St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
 

silvercreek

WFF Supporter
The Beginning of Yodeling


Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland.

Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.

The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.

As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, "Who is that man going into the barn?"

"That fellow traveling through," said the farmer. "needs a place to stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn."

The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry." So she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn.

About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.

The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn, and she too did not return for an hour Her clothing was disheveled, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.

The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.

When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. "How could he leave without even saying goodbye," she cried. "We made such passionate love last night!"

"What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.

The farmer screamed up at him , "I'm going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!"

The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out.....

"LAIDTHEOLAIDEETOO!"
 

Buzzy

Active Member
In case you feel bad about missing your exercise today, ponder this:


• The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54.
• The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57.
• The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41.
• The best footballer in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60.
• James Fuller Fixx, credited with helping start America's fitness revolution by popularizing the sport of running, died of a heart attack while jogging at age 52.

BUT ...

• The KFC inventor died at 94.
• The inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88.
• Cigarette maker Charles Winston died at the age of 102.
• The inventor of opium died at the age of 116, in an earthquake.
• And, the Hennessey Liquor inventor died at 98.

How did smart people come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

The rabbit is always jumping up and down, but it lives for only two years, and the turtle, that doesn't exercise at all, lives 400 years.

Get some rest, chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life!
 

cdnred

Active Member
In case you feel bad about missing your exercise today, ponder this:


• The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54.
• The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57.
• The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41.
• The best footballer in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60.
• James Fuller Fixx, credited with helping start America's fitness revolution by popularizing the sport of running, died of a heart attack while jogging at age 52.

BUT ...

• The KFC inventor died at 94.
• The inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88.
• Cigarette maker Charles Winston died at the age of 102.
• The inventor of opium died at the age of 116, in an earthquake.
• And, the Hennessey Liquor inventor died at 98.

How did smart people come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

The rabbit is always jumping up and down, but it lives for only two years, and the turtle, that doesn't exercise at all, lives 400 years.

Get some rest, chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life!
How very true, it doesn't pay to stay fit.. :D
 

Old Man

A very Old Man
WFF Supporter
In case you feel bad about missing your exercise today, ponder this:


• The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54.
• The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57.
• The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41.
• The best footballer in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60.
• James Fuller Fixx, credited with helping start America's fitness revolution by popularizing the sport of running, died of a heart attack while jogging at age 52.

BUT ...

• The KFC inventor died at 94.
• The inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88.
• Cigarette maker Charles Winston died at the age of 102.
• The inventor of opium died at the age of 116, in an earthquake.
• And, the Hennessey Liquor inventor died at 98.

How did smart people come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

The rabbit is always jumping up and down, but it lives for only two years, and the turtle, that doesn't exercise at all, lives 400 years.

Get some rest, chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life!
I would chill out but it's 93 degrees here today. I feel like sitting in a freezer. This is just a little to hot for this old man.
 

Squamishpoacher

Active Member
I wonder if there's ever been any scientific study done that proves fly fishing leads to a longer life. I'm quite sure it leads to a happier life. I've known several still at it in their 90s and they're an inspiration to me. My mom turned 98 a week ago. I hope I got the right genes.
 

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