NFR Quarantine Humor

cdnred

Active Member
BUSTED!!

Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time."
 

cdnred

Active Member
Colonology

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body where ever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss

The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work...

The a$$hole is usually in charge!!!
 

cdnred

Active Member
A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach.

As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women
have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.

She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'

The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns
to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad
does.

She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is'

Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play.
shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother,

Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he
talks, the dumber he gets
 

cdnred

Active Member
Sixty Five F'n Dollars for a 4' x 8' sheet of OSB today at Lowe's. Lowe's guy said it was Twelve Something six months ago............. Ha Ha Ha ha ha.......... What a country!!
All lumber prices have gone wild recently, it's a wonder people can afford to build new homes at these prices..
 

jangles

Kicked
No , I meant its posted in the wrong forum but ?????????

Jangles
Welcome to internet forums. Its called "thread drift".

Kinda like what ya did bitching about the White House and lumber price correlation.
I did kind of , just answering an unasked question . Sorry . Now , I'm going to put this thread to bed for me as, in unwatch and get on with my packing for the great northwest . Hopefully there will be a trickle high up somewhere ! Cheers .
 

IveofIone

WFF Supporter
Colonology

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body where ever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss

The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work...

The a$$hole is usually in charge!!!
Amen!
 

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