A suspected COVID-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
“Nurse” he mumbles from behind the mask. “are my testicles black..?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.” He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are testicles black..?”
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, sir. They look fine.”
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly. Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet. “What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?”
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.
“You keep out of this!” she yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”
One day, a group of blondes and a group of brunettes went ice fishing on either side of the lake. They all got settled and started fishing. The brunettes were pulling out the fish like crazy, while the blondes didn’t even get a bite! The blondes spent two hours trying to figure out what to do. Then they got it. They sent a ‘spy’ over to the other side to see what the brunettes were doing differently. So she went over there and started thinking and watching. She sat there for an hour. Then, she yelled “I GOT IT!!” and ran back. When she got back, all the other blondes asked what the brunettes were doing differently. She said – “They cut a hole in the ice!!”
A blonde named Anna had a near death experience, the other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all of her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager happened to walk by and unplugged it.