Two City workers are taking a break when one notices a snail approaching the other. “Hey Bob, look at that snail.” Bob looks down and steps on the snail. “What did you do that for?” “Little shit’s been following me all day.”
My son was in the bath and held up his finger and said, “Daddy, what’s this?” I wiped a bit of nondescript goo from his finger and examined it and asked, “I don’t know, where did you find it?” His response: “It came from my butt!”I was feverishly packing for a business trip one evening. My Daughter, 3 at the time sat on the bed pleading "Daddy, play with me!" "I will, Bug as soon as I'm done here." She continued, "Please Daddy?" I zoomed over to her, grabbed her hand and said "Daddy's gonna eat your finger!" - at which she giggled and I resumed my packing. After a moment she asked: "Daddy . . . where did my booger go?"