Oh good god Kerry I just suppressed a small bubble of vomit.
This sounds like a poor, lazy, ripoff of a a Vance Randolph Ozark Folktale (which incidentally I recommend very highly as an X-mas gift) : http://www.amazon.com/Pissing-Snow-Other-Ozark-Folktales/dp/0252013646
The reason Vance Randolph is similar:
Cords of Wood
The reason why Vance Randolphs tales are better?
1- they are collected, verified jokes about preacher men, spindle-assed kids, widows, adultery, charlatans and fishin'
2- They are VERY funny and use the historical vernacular of the time
3- This is funny because it is Snuggy cheesy, and meant to be taken seriously and, get this...It is taken seriously
(plug this quote into google and see how many hits this story has in various web forums: "Little Jakey just had gunny sacks wrapped around his feet when he was out in the wood-pile this morning.")
So why am I "literally" gagging on this here hog-jowl?
This hokey pile of corn-pone uses names like "Matt" and "Jakey" which are straight out of this century. Other things that suggest to me that it is BS:
"Little Jakey was out digging around in the woodpile trying to find a few chips."
Why would the shoeless urchin be digging around in a presumably snowy (they use a sled to drag this crap to Widow Jenson's) woodpile looking for chips to burn if he was in fact in a ...wait for it.......woodpile?)
Or this little chestnut:
"When we had exchanged the sideboards Pa went into the woodshed and came out
with an armload of wood---the wood I'd spent all summer hauling down from the
Fuck me! All summer for an armful of wood makes Matt a lay-about good fer nothin' ...boy... fetch me Papy's hickory switch...
Or this hunk of hand-churned cheese:
"In my mind I kept seeing those three kids huddled around the fireplace
and their mother standing there with tears running down her cheeks and
so much gratitude in her heart that she couldn't speak. My heart
swelled within me and a joy filled my soul that I'd never known before. I
had given at Christmas many times before, but never when it had made
so much difference.
I could see we were literally saving the lives of these people"
Up until about 1980, or dumbfuck sitcoms, people did not say crap like "I could see we were literally..." or use psychobabble like "in my mind". Nor were hardy stock prone to such emotional incontinence, or hanging around a "fireplace" when a stove would have been way more functional, cheaper, and more appropriate.... People are crying like sunup ain't ever gonna come in this tale...not only that people are crying all over web forums (see the comments from some of the pages from the web search)
So for the sweet love of all that is good and true, pick up Vance Randolph and read some really good period pieces that are intentionally funny and inspirational...
See you up Creek Nation...
Wadin' ham smokin', wood stackin', bible thumpin' , candy lovin' , Pa Obeyin' , Rock Salt Shootin' , Curd-eatin' , sideboard hangin', Moonshinin', Pie Stealin' , Jenkin Hornin'
Here's a little snippet of Vance Randolph:
And when the pants tore loose, the girl seen Jenkin-Horn sticking out between the preacher's legs. "There it is" she hollered. "You old thief, you've got ...